Summer 2012

Well, as planned this time, I made my way up to my new home away from home, my apartment on my college campus for the summer. My family set out a little before 9 this morning and arrived about noon. I brought my stuff up, my roommate/friend/coworker, Jenni left to go home for the remainder of the weekend (After giving me the key) and then I went with my family to lunch. After lunch, we spent a very long 3 hours in the grocery store where my parents very kindly bought me some food to start the summer off with. It was quite the generous gesture and though I was frustrated that our shopping trip took so long it was very nice of them to do, especially considering they’re not at all happy with my decision to be away from home, even though this was the only way I would have of being employed.
Anyways, after our trip was over I said goodbye to my family and went up and unpacked my things. Surprisingly, it only took about an hour to get situated and since then I’ve mostly been sitting around resting since the past few days have been somewhat stressful and turns out unpacking and situating all of ones belongings is quite an exhausting experience.
I’m not that nervous anymore about this summer, now that I’m here. I’m really getting quite excited. Though it’s been a bit of a boring/relaxing evening tonight, I’m hopeful that this will be the last boring day of my summer and from now on I will have lots of adventures and such.
I promise no matter what comes I will keep you all updated.
Hope ♥

Today went much differently than expected.

Today was supposed to be the day that I returned to college, the day I left home for the summer to go to work on campus where I work year round. I was supposed to get on a bus about 2:30 and take the 4 hour bus ride to the town near campus where my roommate for the summer would pick me up and take me to our apartment. There was supposed to be a slight layover in a town at about the half way point where I would have an hour layover and then get on a connecting bus. All in all I should have been in my apartment by 7pm at the latest. I was ready, I had said my goodbyes, everything was packed, I had psyched myself up that though I was nervous to be on my own for the summer and even more nervous to ride a bus (Those nerves increased when we got to the bus station and I saw it was the creepiest place I’ve ever seen and could’ve easily been a set for a horror movie) that God had a plan for me and that this summer is going to be the best one yet. I have a full-time job, I will actually be doing something productive with my life and I’m going to do my best to focus on God’s will and do what he wants. I was ready, nervous but excited.
That’s how my day was supposed to go but what happened turned out a little differently. I woke up somewhat early this morning to take care of some last minute packing and planning. The bus tickets had purchased online yesterday so that wasn’t a problem then around 12 my mom, sister and grandma and I left for the bus station. First we stopped to eat at Sonic that my grandmother kindly bought for us and then we were off. I checked in at the counter and got the stickers to put on my checked bag that had my name on it and everything at exactly an hour before my bus, just like the time they want you to arrive. After that I went back to the car to hang with the family some more. Dad was at work but he took his lunch to come see me and we had a nice time just waiting for the bus. The bus finally arrived at 2:15, just the right time for it to leave when it was supposed to at 2:30. I said my goodbyes, put my suitcase on the bus and got ready for departure. That was when things started to go wonky. My mom asked the bus driver (Who looked a bit like and sounded exactly like Morgan Freeman, much to my excitement) if the bus would be leaving on time. He replied that he was supposed to meet a connecting bus there before he could leave but that the other bus was running 2 hours late and he was sure his supervisor wouldn’t have him wait for it but he was going to call to make sure. He called and much to his surprise and my unhappiness his supervisor said he would have to wait. Mom and I checked on my ticket and saw that if we waited two hours for the other bus I would miss my connecting bus and would therefore be stranded in the bus station halfway through with my trip, so we asked if there would be another connecting bus. We were told there would be, 12 hours afterward. After finding this out, mom called dad (Who by this time had returned to work) and discussed that instead of me being stranded halfway between home and college for 12 or more hours that dad could take me tomorrow morning because for once he actually has Sunday off. After that was decided we cancelled my ticket (Fortunately getting a refund) and returned back home.
So, instead of me now being in my summer apartment and blogging from there as I had expected, and instead of being away from my family already, I’m spending this one last night at home before heading out early in the morning.
All well, I suppose this is what God had in mind and I think it’ll be better than taking a bus, though I was getting quite excited about the adventure taking a bus might bring. But I suppose there are other times for adventures on buses. This way my family will drop me off for the summer and unlike if I had ridden the bus, I’ll be able to take my bicycle up to my apartment, which will be quite helpful due to my lack of car ownership.
Anyways, I thought I should update you all on my current condition and I will most certainly update tomorrow to let you know of my trip. Now I should get to bed and get some sleep before my hopefully adventurous and exciting day tomorrow.
Hope ♥

5/25/2012 ~ Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,
I’ve been struggling again recently with feeling worthy of things. I don’t feel good enough, a feeling I often have when at home and I’m really struggling with it. I hate feeling this way and I’ve been told over and over again that guys don’t like girls who are insecure, which is oddly making me more insecure because it makes me afraid I’ll never get over this and I’ll never find you. I know, I know, pretty messed up right? I’m definitely trying to work on this because nothing about these feelings are good but they won’t go away right now. I’m really working on just trusting God and knowing that He has a plan for me and that He thinks I’m worthy which makes me very worthy. I know these things in my head but my heart doesn’t seem to be listening. So yeah, that’s what I’m currently struggling with and I guess I’m glad that right now I don’t know who you are so I don’t have to be all angsty like this with you. If I do happen to know you now, and you’re one of the friends that I’m all angsty to somehow, then I again apologize. I’m trying so hard not to feel this way. My friends have been amazing and comforting and telling me all these feelings aren’t right but because of how many times my mother and other people have said otherwise, I can’t listen, I don’t believe any positive things about myself right now. I’m trying though. Wow, when did I become such an angsty/emotion/insecure person? This is not good.
Definitely what I’m gonna be working on this summer, that way I’ll be preparing myself a bit more for you my love.
I can’t wait to know who you are and please, when I’m insecure like this, don’t judge me and don’t be upset that I won’t listen to people saying otherwise, just know this is something I might struggle with for a while, but I know eventually God will help me overcome this.
Love,
Hope

From To My Future Spouse Tumblr:
- Sometimes, I feel ready. For you. For us. I feel ready to hold your hand and know that you’re there. To be in love with you. To face things together. To count on you and be counted on by you. To be wrapped in your arms and never want to leave. To be a reason for your smile. To follow your lead.
But then I realize I’m not ready. I’m young. I’m foolish. There are things I need to do, see, and experience before I get to you. Things I need to learn and understand. There are places in my life I have to come to, there are things inside I need to come to grips with. I’m not ready for you. You’re probably not ready for me either.
And that’s okay.
It’s just that I know when I’m with you… I’ll feel like I’m home. And, well, I guess sometimes I just feel homesick.

- I’m looking forward to the small things in life: waking up beside you,
seeing your toothbrush next to mine, digging past your cologne and
shaving cream in the medicine cabinet. How bad could forever be if
it’s by your side?

- I long for you; to be loved by you.
All I can say is that it is an extremely tough journey without you, please make an appearance in my life soon.

- I look for you in every boy that I meet. I just miss you so much. I hope that right now you are growing so much deeper in your faith just like me. I just can’t wait to meet you and talk about everything.

- I trust you to make my waiting worth it :)

- I’m not a party girl. Heck, I’m not even that keen on going out.
So let’s stay in a lot, yeah?
Call me old-fashioned, but let’s light some candles, put on some slow music, and just dance in our living room.
Let’s snuggle into our bed and just watch our favorite movies all night.
Let’s stay up ‘til sunrise telling each other confessions and secrets that we haven’t told each other yet.
Let’s cook dinner together, eat together, and then wash the dishes together.
But most importantly, let’s pray and read together.
I couldn’t ask for anything sweeter.

- We will never stop going on dates. We’ll never stop acting silly. We’ll never stop playing. We’ll never stop having movie nights, making pallets on the floor and eating popcorn. We’ll never stop telling each other our secrets. We’ll never stop being best friends. We’ll never stop being young and in love.

-

Thoughts from an Airplane

As I mentioned in the last post, yesterday was the day that I flew back from Georgia and as flights can sometimes be quite boring, and due to the fact that we had a 40 minute delay sitting on the runway before take off (Though fortunately the rest of my trip was safe and uneventful) I decided to jot down some of my thoughts as they came to me. I realize they’re pretty spastic and random at times but hopefully enjoyable as well!
Here you go!

4pm:
- Babies should not be allowed on airplanes. Oh my goodness.
- It’s disappointing to sit in a row with two women when you dreamed the previous night that you sat next to Tom Hiddleston, your current celebrity crush and in said dream he then fell in love with you. Sad day.
- Electronics should definitely be allowed on planes if you’re just sitting on the runway. I want my cell phone out!
- Tom Hiddleston is the most attractive person on this earth.

4:10 (Finally up in the air, we were supposed to leave at 3:20):
- The Atlanta skyline is the prettiest I have ever seen.
- I’m glad we can finally turn on our electronics such as iPods.
- 5 years was way too long to be away from Georgia after 15 years of living there.
- Also, 1 week is not enough time to catch up with your best friend you’ve had since you were 7.
- It would be super cool to have super powers.
- Making complicated bracelets is a frustrating ordeal.
- TSA agents are way nicer than people make them out to be.
- I’m getting thirsty.
- You Me at Six is a great band and they make me super happy.
- I keep thinking about Tom…
- And how much I want Black Mango Tea.
- I’m really thirsty…

*Goes to making my bracelet for a bit*

4:30:
- THE DRINK CART IS ON IT’S WAY!
- God is super awesome. Those clouds out the window are pure perfection.
- Airtran has super nice and polite flight attendants.
- I’m not really hungry right now, nor am I a huge fan of pretzels but I always eat them on plane rides.
- THE DRINK CART IS HERE! DELICIOUS COKE! My thirst is quenched.
- Speaking of pretzels, why is that randomly the food they serve on airplanes? What happened to cookies?
- Why do drink carts have cans of water instead of bottles?
- The woman behind me just started speaking – She’s BRITISH! I love her accent.
- Now I’m thinking of Tom again because he’s British. As is You Me at Six.
- Now I’m thirsty again too. I’m sensing a cycle.
- Wow, airplane seats are really uncomfortable and I still have an hour to go.
- I miss Erin already.
- 1 week at home and then I’m off by myself for the summer to work. Both of those situations make me nervous but going home sounds far worse than my first time by myself for a summer. *Shudder*
- This bracelet is ticking me off.

*Nap time*

5:20:
- Airplane naps are not that comfortable or restful. But at least time has gone by…
- The girl beside me has really cute shoes. I wonder where she got them? I’d ask her is she wasn’t asleep this whole trip.
- Airplane rides are made more exciting when one has funny Tom Hiddleston interviews saved on their iPod.
- I’m such a fangirl, gosh, Hope…
- *Looks out window* Well, definitely back in the Midwest again. No more trees or hills.
- I was really hot and sweaty when I got on board but now I’m getting cold…
- Not that I would do this but what exactly would happen if you used a cell phone mid-flight? Because announcements on the intercom tell you to turn them off but no one ever checks to see if you do…
- Oh yay! We’re beginning our decent.
- Wait. Why is our flight arriving at the time we were supposed to when we were delayed on the runway for 40 minutes?
Our pilot is clearly a time traveler.
- I’m home again! Er, at least landed…

*Song of the Flight: Reckless by You Me at Six*

Hope ♥

Another Update (I go home tomorrow and then will get back to regular postings)

So I have an extra bit of time again right now, Erin’s at a tea for her sister’s wedding that will occur next week and I thought I’d write another post. The week has been absolutely splendid so far and I definitely do not want to go back home tomorrow, as I had expected, this week went by rather quickly. Last time I wrote was Wednesday, we spent that day visiting some old friends to have coffee with them then went to a thrift store where after wanting one for quite some time I finally got a long, maxi dress that I love and then not even exaggerating we spent the entire rest of the day on Tumblr and watching Doctor Who. I’m sure to many of you this seems like a lame way to spend ones day but hey, it’s what we enjoy so that’s what we did. And yes, now I have successfully turned her into a Whovian which I am quite proud of. The next day, we went with our friend Chelsea and her boyfriend Spencer to the Atlanta aquarium and the World of Coke. The Atlanta aquarium is one of the biggest aquariums in the world and has all sorts of wonderful fish and animals. My favorites were the dolphins and the penguins because they’re so adorable. The World of Coke is a museum for Coca-Cola where you can learn the history of Coca-Cola and try all of their products from around the world,it’s super cool even though some of the drinks from other countries are absolutely disgusting!
After we left from there Erin and I went to dinner and came back and watched The Prestige and Space Balls, two movies I had never seen but quite enjoyed.
Friday I spent the entire day with my grandparents. It was relatively uneventful but I suppose it was nice to catch up with them.
Yesterday then was Erin’s sister’s graduation so we spent most of the day there then came home and took a much needed nap. After that we played several card games and went back to our computers to continue “Tumblring”.
Today we went to church as is my usual Sunday routine. It was a bit weird I’m gonna be honest, going back to the church I went to for about 8 years but hadn’t been to in 5. I liked it, and I got to see some old friends and acquaintances but the feeling of deja vu was a bit odd. For the most part it hadn’t changed at all in 5 years. It was nice to be back.
This evening we will be trying to finish the 6th season of Doctor Who (My second time, her first) and going to see the Avengers (Also my second time and her first). I’m quite excited about both of those since those are 2 of my favorite things ever.
Anyways, I will update again soon as I’m going home tomorrow.
Hope ♥

A Quick Update

I know I said I probably wouldn’t update this week but I have a few spare seconds to write while Erin is finishing getting ready for the day.
Obviously I made it to Georgia ok and it has been absolutely brilliant being back! I can’t really describe how great it is to be back with my best friend, it’s been 5 years and some friendships wouldn’t last through that but we’ve kept in touch and now that we’re back together things are just like old times, except now with a whole lot more fangirling over attractive actors. :) We still have so much in common and honestly she’s more like me than almost anyone I’ve ever met, and she’s definitely the only person I know in real life and not through Tumblr that we can obsessively talk about movies, TV shows and actors in such a fangirl-ish way without me just getting strange looks because I’m the only one who feels that way. :)
So far we’ve watched Thor (I hadn’t seen it yet, it’s great!), went and shopped a bit, went to IHOP (International House of Pancakes), played around on the internet, had a random guy stop me in Wal-Mart to tell me that I had wonderful facial expressions and that I should join a theatre troupe if I wasn’t part of one (Yeah, that was random, and hilarious), played with hair and makeup and then she had an impromptu photo-shoot with me. Oh yeah, then we made this delicious dessert that is chocolate chip cookies, with Oreos on top with brownies on top. To say it’s amazing would be an understatement.
Anyways, we’re about to leave to go start our day but I thought I would leave you all with a quick update. I love you all! :)
Hope ♥

This is it.

Well, guys, this is it. Tomorrow is the day I’ve been waiting for for five years, I’m finally flying out to Georgia tomorrow and getting to see my best friend, Erin! To say I’m excited would be a major understatement. I discussed my excitement for this day in this post: http://elvishjesusfreak.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/i-cant-remember-the-last-time-i-was-this-excited/ but that was over a month ago and the fact that it’s finally here is very exciting.
I got home from college about 9:30 last night then spent the rest of the night having the typical interactions with my family (I’m not gonna get into those) then this morning I went to church and spent most the afternoon with my mom for mother’s day. After that I packed a bit for tomorrow, visited my best friend here in my town and brought her ice cream because she just got her wisdom teeth taken out (Plus ice cream is appropriate for anytime) and then I just hung out some more getting more and more excited for tomorrow as the day has gone by.
I probably won’t be posting this week since I will be with friends and everything but I will be back to posting when I get back and I’ll definitely have a lot of pictures to share as well!
Until then,
Hope ♥

5/12/2012 ~ Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,
Well, I’m officially done with my sophomore year of college. Finals were completed yesterday and then I spent some time with my friends in my dorm hanging out before we all went home tonight. I’m not gonna lie, I’m feeling really sad about it. I know I’ll see them all in a few months but it won’t be the same, West 5 won’t ever be fully together again. This family that we’ve created this year will be completely different, though like the Fellowship of the Ring, we will always have each other and have a special place in our hearts for every member of this community. While I’m sad, I’m also a little excited to see what future plans God has for me this summer and as sad as I am right now, this loss of my West 5 family has me thinking, if this has been this amazing just for a year of college, how much amazing will it be when it’s finally time for me to meet you, you actually will be my family and the feelings of being loved, accepted and of being a real family will be completely legitimate and true. I can’t wait for that time.
For now, I’m still trying to be patient and wait for God’s timing for us to meet.
I love you so much and miss you.
Love,
Hope Kristen ♥

From the To My Future Spouse Tumblr:

- I think the world of you. You make me a better person. I love you.

- I have had many men come in and out of my life and I have been hurt. And although that may be true, I won’t let my past affect our marriage. You already have my trust and my heart. I promise you I won’t stop loving you, whatever your past is and whatever the future has in store, it doesn’t matter because I will love you anyways. I know I will be difficult at times but all I ask of you is to love me the same way I will love you. No matter what.

- Waiting is hard and I’m not a patient person.
But when I think about the fact that once the waiting is over we have the rest of our lives,
it’s worth it.

The Year Has Ended

So, I’m kind of having a bad day today so this post won’t be long (And yes, I know it’s my day to write a letter to my future husband again but since I did that late this week and that was my last post I’ll do that tomorrow). Basically, finals are over, it’s time to go home. I know I’ve hardly written this week I’ve been studying really hard for finals and spending time with my friends before we all leave for the summer and everything. Now there’s only about 4 of us left in the dorm, all of us leaving tomorrow so we’re planning on having a Star Wars marathon tonight and hanging out. It’ll be a good last night together but I’ll sure miss them all!
So, basically that’s all I have to say today, other than I am still alive and now that I’m done posts will go back to usual soon.
I love you all!

5/7/2012 ~ Dear Future Husband (Sorry I’m a few days late)

I know I usually do this on Friday but because of studying and end of the year craziness and Friday being Star Wars day I totally blanked on it. So, here’s my post from last week for this. :)

From To My Future Spouse Tumblr:

- Forget poetry and beautifully built words. I just want you to know that I love you and will provide for you forever and ever. Let that be enough.

- Tell me you will never give up on me as I promise to keep fighting for you.

- I know you’d be here if you could.
It’s ok.
I’ll wait for you.
I know you’re worth it.

- Any time you want to show up would be fantastic! I’m nearly ready.

- When I am having a bad day, grab me by the hand and dance with me.

- Hi. I don’t know if I know you right now, or when I’ll meet you. But I know that I want to be able to act like a little kid whenever I’m with you. I want to be able to run down the aisles of a grocery store on a shopping cart with you. We can build forts in the living room, camp in our backyard.
I can’t wait to meet you for the first time.
^ This, so much. I definitely want this. Above all else. :)

- Praying with you is simply the best. I’m not trying to be super spiritual. Seriously, I’m not. But when spirits unite, it is electric. You unlock things in me that have been dormant. I’m so glad I get the chance to show this side of me with you. It is such a healthy way to connect more intimately.

- Let’s take a Summer walk, holding hands and kissing every so often. Nothing in this world sound better.
I miss you. I love you. I belong to you.

- I wish you were here with me …right now.

A Year of Shenanigans

As the current school year winds down and this week is full of finals, packing and saying goodbye to everyone, I’m realizing more than ever how amazing this year has been. I’ve known from my first week here in my dorm this year, here on my floor, West 5 that this year would be special. Living on a coed floor this year instead of an all girls dorm again like last year has been incredible, I like hanging out with guys better anyways and these guys are amazing. Not only that but I’ve built relationships that are stronger than any I’ve ever experienced before and I know that I’ll keep some of them for my whole life. In addition to having fun and making new friends, I’ve also grown so much, I’ve learned to stand up for myself, I’ve learned to be sassy (In a good way), I’ve learned to cause shenanigans, to have adventures, to sing Disney songs loudly in the lobby while studying for finals, how to work in an office and not be terrified of answering phones, I’ve learned that lightsabers are acceptable to carry around at any time and exploring buildings on campus in the dark is a necessary thing to do, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s necessary to stay up til 4:30 in the morning watching Titanic 2, I’ve learned that watching ridiculous movies is a must with good friends and with people who have good one-liners. I’ve learned floor quotes can be some of the funniest things in the world, I’ve learned that carrots are fun to flick at people in the dining hall, I’ve learned that sometimes staying up til all hours of the morning is ok to do on school nights because after all, you never remember the nights you get enough sleep. This year has truly been the best year of my life and I will never forget it.
To everyone who lives on West 5, for the small number of you that read this blog, I love you all and you will have a special place in my heart forever. Everyone of you has changed my life, you’ve helped me grow, you’ve loved me and accepted me for who I am. You’ve teased me about pretty much everything but it’s always been in a loving way. You’ve taught me to think about things deeper than I have before, you’ve challenged me to think and to share my beliefs more openly than I ever have before. You’ve been there through thick and thin, you’ve been more my family than my actual family has been. I know there have been some rough patches with some people, we’re not perfect and some of us have argued and there have been awkward times but that’s what family is, there for each other no matter what. I want to say thank you for that. You’re all brilliant and this year has been amazing. I’m blessed to have been able to share it with you all.
Thank you all and I love you.

Link to my dorm quotes blog: http://thingsmydormfloorsays.tumblr.com/

Happy Star Wars Day!

May the Fourth be with you all today! Happy Star Wars day! :) Get it? Like May the Force be with you? But instead it’s May the fourth? *Starts laughing hysterically* Haha. Yes. I’m a nerd and I’m proud of it.
Anyways, today was my last day of classes so one week, 4 finals and many floor shenanigans to go and I’m a junior in college. Next Saturday I’ll be leaving my college town for two weeks (One of those to go visit Georgia, the time is almost here!) and the other to just go home before I come back and work at the financial aid office for the summer. I’m pretty excited. This next week shouldn’t be to bad, I’ll certainly be studying a lot this weekend but I’m also planning on spending a lot of time with my friends and causing general shenanigans as well. I promise after I’m done with finals my posts will get longer and better again and hopefully have a point. :) Until then I’ll just try to keep you all updated, maybe put in some end of the year pictures.
I hope you’re all doing well!
Hope ♥

Never Forget

Today is the day we celebrate Wizard Independence Day, The Last Battle of Hogwarts, the day day that Harry killed Lord Voldemort. Let us never forget May 2, 1998 and let us always remember those who died for that cause, Fred Weasley, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks and Colin Creevey.
Today is also sadly the first anniversary of this day that we don’t have any new Harry Potter to look forward to, no new book, no new movie, no new material. Yes, Harry Potter will live on in our hearts forever and as J.K. Rowling said, Hogwarts will always be here to welcome us home but that excited anxiety of waiting for new material won’t be here again. So that is something else I have been thinking about on this anniversary, sad yes, but at least we have our memories. And I’m thankful to be part of a fandom that is just as strong today without new material as it was during the prime of the new books and movies. Our fandom is the best.

The Last Battle

You all know by now that I have a very strong admiration towards C.S. Lewis, and those of you who have been reading for a while have heard me talk of my deep love for the Chronicles of Narnia series. One reason I love those 7 books so much is the fact that they are such a perfect allegory to the story of Christ and of our Christian faith. I think at times we have all acted like Edmund, being a traitor and not doing as we should, we’ve all been (Or should have all been) like Lucy, innocent and perfectly trusting in her childlike faith, we’ve all been a bit of Peter, strong, courageous and ready to fight for the cause. Unfortunately sometimes Christians can be like Susan too, at the end of the books where she rejected Narnia for things of the world claiming it was a fairy tale all along. The great thing is as much as we act like Susan and Edmund, God, like Aslan is welcoming us back and will always forgive. The last book of the series, The Last Battle, though not my favorite of the series because it’s sad and it’s the end, is a perfect allegory of the coming end of days. Some day this world as we know it will end and God will create a new Heaven and a New Earth for us. He’ll be waiting for us there and it will be perfect as He wants it to be. It’s sometimes hard to wait for that time. I know sometimes I can catch glimpses of how that life will be, on a sunny day, when a warm breeze passes by or when I’m so deep in worship that I can feel God right beside me and I feel homesick for that life. It’s hard but we have to be patient, we have to know that someday we will reach that new place and it will be perfect, more perfect than our human minds could ever imagine and in that day we will finally be home. This old world will pass away and we’ll never have to live without God’s glory being the number one prevalent thing in our lives. I for one can’t wait but in the meantime I’m working on doing God’s work and using everything He’s given me to be who He wants me to be.
Hope ♥

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now…Come further up, come further in!”
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

“And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

“Would it not be better to be dead than to have this horrible fear that Aslan has come and is not like the Aslan we have believed in and longed for? It is as if the sun rose one day and were a black sun.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

“Emeth speaking of Aslan, “Beloved, said the Glorious One, unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek…And since then, O Kings and Ladies, I have been wandering to find him and my happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound. And this is the marvel of marvels, that he called me Beloved, me who am but as a dog”
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

“All their life in this world and all their adventures had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

Perhaps you will get some idea of it if you think like this. You may have been in a room in which there was a window that looked out on a lovely bay of the sea or a green valley that wound away among the mountains. And in the wall of that room opposite to the glass there may have been a looking glass. And the sea in the mirror, or the valley in the mirror, were in one sense just the same as the real ones: yet at the same time they were somehow different — deeper, more wonderful, more like places in a story: in a story you have never heard but very much want to know. The difference between the old Narnia and the new Narnia was like that. The new one was a deeper country: every rock and flower and blade of grass looked like it meant more. I can’t describe it any better than that: if you ever get there you will know what I mean.
It was the unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed, and then cried:
“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia so much is because it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!”
~ The Last Battle

“The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.” And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot
write them. And for us this is the end of all stories, and we can most truly say they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.
~ The Last Battle

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home
~ Switchfoot, written for the Prince Caspian soundtrack

God is freaking amazing.

Obviously the above statement is pretty much the biggest understatement there is but really, God is so cool. Last night Jared and I started talking like we often do and we talked a bit about our struggles and fears and then about how awesome God is and then we started listening to amazing worship music and we literally just layed there, on the floor at the end of the hallway praising God until 3 in the morning. It was absolutely incredible, there is nothing better in this world than praising God fully, with your whole body and mind, completely consumed by His glory and beauty. Then this morning, instead of going to church like I do every week, I decided it would be a better use of my time to wake up at almost the same time and go outside by myself and listen to more worship music, read my Bible and just pray. Being outside and reading my Bible is literally my favorite thing ever, I never feel as close to God as when I’m worshiping Him outside. It’s brilliant and I love it.
Needless to say, I’m just completely in love with God right now and I never want to lose this feeling, I’ve been doing a lot better recently of just keeping Him foremost in my mind and focusing on loving Him.
Our God is amazing.
Hope ♥

My God’s not dead, He’s surely alive. He’s living on the inside, roaring like a lion. ~ God’s Not Dead (Like a Lion) ~ Newsboys

You have called us loved
And you have called us wanted
One time we were bruised
We were bankrupt and haunted
~ Seen a Darkness – John Mark McMillan

“Unless I believe in God, I can’t believe in thought; so I can never use thought to disbelieve in God.” ~ C.S. Lewis