Trying to Think Like the Doctor

As most of you readers know, I’ve struggled for a long time with people leaving, people lie and people leaves constantly. Maybe on one hand can I count the people who’ve actually stayed in my life and proved they care despite the promises all the others have made to stay in my life and be my friends forever. Out of all the people I’ve known in my 20 years of life, that’s not a lot, and it scares me. It terrifies me actually. I want to stop caring, I want to just put all my feelings for anyone away for ever and just not care. Because if I don’t care I can’t get hurt right? I told myself about a month ago that love didn’t exist, that not even real friendships could fully exist without people eventually leaving, I told myself that and promised myself to stop caring, I admit it, I didn’t want to make new friends this year on my new floor because I know they’ll leave, I know they’ll leave along with all the other people I care about already. I have ended up making new friends regardless of that though I admit until recently I hadn’t actually gotten to know them super well because I’m afraid of getting hurt. Again.
This past week though I’ve started getting close with new people, and I’ve started caring again and I’m so scared. I’m petrified that more people I care about will leave.
Luckily, I do still have some friends that care and one in particular who is wise beyond her years and I have quoted on here before because of her wisdom (And will no doubt quote again), was kind enough to give me some wise advice, “Hope I could count on one hand. Like, one finger maybe, maybe, who hasn’t left me one way or another. People do, but that doesn’t make you an island, or the cause. It’s (I think) partially just the stage of life we’re in. Attachment is hard when moving around, settling down, finding yourself, etc. Plus your age group is where all the tough stuff we went through at 15 comes into play for dudes anyway, or when it’s getting resolved anyway, so the majority of them are all whacked out. But there’s the few. The proud. The Whovians and the Trekkies, the loyal ones and the ones that don’t make fun of Star Wars debates. Not necessarily saying all good people are nerds, but I think in our case it applies.
I don’t even know what I ended up saying there. People are good. People are worth weeding through to find the best ones.”
When she said that, I realized she was right, Maybe it’s not my fault, it’s just our world is screwed up and it hurts. But I do try to remember how the Doctor would think of it, he knows the worlds hurt more than anyone… but he still continues caring. Even though literally everyone breaks his heart…
So, because of that, I’m trying to remember that, to care even though it might hurt, and maybe someday I’ll meet someone who won’t leave.
Hope ♥

The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. ~ The Doctor

The Magic Will Never Die

A year ago today, was the day I woke up early because I couldn’t wait for the evening’s activities. It was the day my group of friends and I got to the IMAX movie theater at 4 in the afternoon fully knowing we couldn’t go inside til 11pm. The 115 degree heat didn’t bother us, the emotions did. This was it, the last time we would all gather together and go see the adventures of Harry, Ron and Hermione. It was the day we would always remember, the movies and the saga that had forever changed our lives for the better. A year ago today we made pumpkin cookies, butterbeer and were on the news several times because of our insanity at being out in that extreme heat for some long. A year ago today was the day that we all dressed up as the characters who meant the most to us, to the characters that taught us to be brave, to be strong and to never forget what’s important and to fight for that, no matter the cost. A year ago today marked the end of the new Harry Potter movies, it was the last one and that left us very emotional and sad but we were gonna be ok, because the magic will never end. Not truly, as JK Rowling stated at the premiere in England last year, “Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”

Our Culture Is Weird

There used to be a time, mostly in high school where I wouldn’t even go get the mail down the street without wearing makeup and having perfectly straightened hair. I wouldn’t allow even my family when possible to see me otherwise, I wouldn’t even participate usually in my all church camp “No Make-Up Day” each year. I was to self-conscious, too worried that my natural look would be unacceptable or weird-looking or I’m not even entirely sure what. Anyways, the summer after senior year that changed thanks to my friend Dalton and some long talks I had with God making me realize God created me how He wants me and though there’s nothing wrong with makeup, there is something wrong with the mentality our culture has today that we all have to look perfect all the time.

It’s sad really, and I know I’ve written more than once about this topic but our culture makes me sad. What happened to embracing natural beauty? I know I lived for years thinking my natural hair texture was too weird to be seen but last summer when my hair was shoulder length I one day decided to go with it natural and everyone including myself loved it. Not to mention how much time it saved not straightening it every day (and how thankful my hair probably was to not have so much heat on it every day…). I love seeing people look natural, I think they’re beautiful to look at and I think it’s truly awesome when people are comfortable in their own skin like that.

This isn’t all to say that there’s something wrong with trying and looking your best because there’s not, at all. I mean, I wear dresses literally every single day when it’s nice outside and I make it a point to live by the quote “Dress to impress”, I always try to look my best clothing wise, so I look professional, clean and well, let’s face it, I like to look cute as often as possible. I think it’s important to make a good impression on people and not be sloppily dressed but I don’t think it should take people forever getting ready each morning. I’m usually in and out of the shower and ready to go within 20 minutes (Don’t worry, I know that’s fast, I’m not saying people shouldn’t spend more time than that either). I think if more people were happy with how they looked naturally, without layers of makeup and doing who knows what to their hair each morning, people would probably be a lot happier.

I don’t really know why I was thinking of all this today, something popped up I supposed but I decided to do myself up with makeup on half of my face and leave the other natural. Overall, not to sound vain or anything, while I can definitely see a difference I don’t really think one necessarily looks better than the other. I say, embrace who you are and other people will too. Rock what God gave you, ladies. He made every single person beautiful, no matter how different we all are.

“If you’re comfortable with yourself, then it’s sexy. Maybe people think I look sexy because I feel sexy. I am a very liberated person that way. I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, my body, my face – well, sometimes I’m not comfortable with my face, but it’s stuck there and there’s nothing I can do about it.” ~ Scarlett Johansson

Hope ♥

Fictional Characters are my life

This summer I’m finally getting back into a habit that I sorely miss during the school year, reading. I’ve often talked here about how reading gives me magical, miraculous feelings that no other activity has ever given me. There are a lot of other activities that I enjoy, writing, watching movies/tv, hanging out with friends, listening to music and other things but despite the joy I get out of all of those, nothing feels like true magic like reading does. Yeah, you can enter fictional worlds through TV and movies but with reading, you actually feel like you’re in the worlds, as one of the characters even, experiencing every emotion and adventure that they feel. With books you meet new characters, you become a new person with each new story you read and you can learn an endless about from it. In the past week, I’ve had the pleasure of reading 4 novels and I’m well on my way to being done with another, with 15 more on reserve at the library. I’m quite excited to get back into the world of reading this summer because due to classes, work and time with friends during school, I hardly ever get the chance and I miss it.

“You know what’s sad about reading books? It’s that you fall in love with the characters. They grow on you. And as you read, you start to feel what they feel – all of them – you become them. And when you’re done, you’re never the same. Sure you’re still you, you look the same, talk in the same manner, but something in you has changed. Something in the way you think, the way you choose, sometimes, even the things you say may differ. But it all comes down to the state you go to after a nice novel. The after-feeling. It’s amazing, but somehow, you feel left alone by that world you were once in. It’s overwhelming. But it makes you sad. Cause for once you were this, this otherworldly being in… Neverwhere, and then you suddenly have to say goodbye after a few weeks from when you read the last page. When you’ve recovered from that state it’s just… quite sad.” ~ Suzanne Collins (Author of the Hunger Games)

I found the above quote from Suzanne Collins last night and was amazed and overwhelmed with emotion, this quote has finally put into words all the feelings I’ve had about reading and about fictional characters that I have had for years. Since the first book I fell in love with. Each and every character I’ve loved, every book world I’ve entered has changed me a little bit, I’ve learned more, I’ve felt more, I’ve loved more from each book I’ve read. And though it can be heartbreaking to finish a story like that, to leave those beloved characters, it’s brilliant, it truly is magical. And the best part? You can re-enter those worlds any time you choose.

Hope ♥

I Am Nowhere Near the Person I Should Be

Recently I’ve started (and will soon be finishing) the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. For any of you who have not read it, I encourage you to go find it immediately and pick it up. It is a challenging, life changing book discussing how our lives as Christians should be, and discussing how often in our current society especially, most of us are just lukewarm Christians, living complacently in our faith but not being “radical”, not living like Christ called us to.
If you think about it, it’s so, so true, many of us “Christians” talk the talk all the time. We claim our faith, we’re open to telling people what we believe but only if they ask. We don’t want to inconvenience anybody, we don’t want to offend them. We’re happy in the lives we’ve been given and we certainly don’t want to be uncomfortable. Well you know what? That line of thinking is wrong. And no, I’m not pointing fingers I promise because I fall prey to that probably more than anyone I know. I screw up so much it’s ridiculous. I’m a hypocrite. I came to my new apartment this summer, knowing I would be lonely, even telling people that but telling people it’d be ok, I’d be fine because it’d be good, great even, I’d spend that time instead of being lonely drawing closer and closer to God, drawing in, living life how I’m meant to, all that jazz. But you know what? I haven’t done that. I’ve been here over a week and I’ve hardly opened my Bible. Yes, I went to church Sunday, yes, I went to a Bible study Tuesday but I haven’t actually put effort into it. Sure, I’ve prayed, but they’ve been selfish prayers, prayers like, “God, be with me, stop me from feeling lonely.” or half-hearted thank you’s that I’ve been safe and provided for here. I haven’t actually been open, and honest and dug in the Word like I should. I’ve been complacent. I haven’t shared my faith with anyone since I’ve gotten here. I’ve been wasting my time on the internet, day after day, watching YouTube videos, spending countless hours just browsing Tumblr and Facebook, not even having anything to do on them. Being bored. There’s nothing inherently wrong with spending time on the internet but there is a problem when I’m wasting the precious time that God has given me.
God has given me this life and He wants me to use this time, for Him, as the servant that I so often claim to be for Him. Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me”, I haven’t done that. I’ve hardly done anything inconvenient. Sure, it’s been bothersome a bit biking everywhere in the heat, but that wasn’t truly uncomfortable. People everyday all over the world are actually persecuted for their faith yet still stand up for it but I’m here living a blessed life, with everything I need, doing nothing. Sure, I’ve been lonely, I’ve been missing my friends a lot, but why? When I have God. The only one I really need. I claim all the time that He’s my best friend, and yeah, He should be, after all He’s done for me. But I wouldn’t treat any of my friends here on earth like I’ve treated Him. Putting Him at the back of my mind, not spending time with Him, not doing what He asked of me, when He sent the person He loved most in this UNIVERSE to DIE, a brutal, tortured, HORRID death, for ME. Because of my sin.
What am I doing with my life? Not the right things. That’s for sure.
So, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but this time I mean it, and this time I’m going to make sure He’s at the forefront of my mind at all times and I’m going to live my life for Him. I’m going to treat Him like a real best friend treats their friend. I’m going to love Him, and respect Him, and honor Him and be the servant He asked me to be, the servant I need to be, and the servant He deserves to have.
From now on, I’m going to live like a Christian. I’m going to shout my faith from the mountains, I want everyone around me at all times to know of my Jesus, my best friend, my Savior. I want them to look at me and say, what does she have that I don’t have? Where does this love come from? And I’ll tell them, I’ll tell them exactly where it came from. Because it won’t be me, oh no, I don’t have strength or love like that. It’s all God.
Hope ♥

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.” ~ C.S. Lewis

God is freaking amazing.

Obviously the above statement is pretty much the biggest understatement there is but really, God is so cool. Last night Jared and I started talking like we often do and we talked a bit about our struggles and fears and then about how awesome God is and then we started listening to amazing worship music and we literally just layed there, on the floor at the end of the hallway praising God until 3 in the morning. It was absolutely incredible, there is nothing better in this world than praising God fully, with your whole body and mind, completely consumed by His glory and beauty. Then this morning, instead of going to church like I do every week, I decided it would be a better use of my time to wake up at almost the same time and go outside by myself and listen to more worship music, read my Bible and just pray. Being outside and reading my Bible is literally my favorite thing ever, I never feel as close to God as when I’m worshiping Him outside. It’s brilliant and I love it.
Needless to say, I’m just completely in love with God right now and I never want to lose this feeling, I’ve been doing a lot better recently of just keeping Him foremost in my mind and focusing on loving Him.
Our God is amazing.
Hope ♥

My God’s not dead, He’s surely alive. He’s living on the inside, roaring like a lion. ~ God’s Not Dead (Like a Lion) ~ Newsboys

You have called us loved
And you have called us wanted
One time we were bruised
We were bankrupt and haunted
~ Seen a Darkness – John Mark McMillan

“Unless I believe in God, I can’t believe in thought; so I can never use thought to disbelieve in God.” ~ C.S. Lewis

The Wisdom (Or lack thereof) of Michael Scott

As a lot of you know, I am deeply fond of the TV show the Office and while I’ve loved every single season, the current season might be my absolute favorite, yes, it’s the only season without Michael Scott played by Steve Carell but I actually and surprisingly think the writing is the best out of all of them and it makes me quite happy. As happy as I am with the current season however, Michael Scott will forever be one of my favorite fictional characters. Here are some of my favorite quotes by him.

– “I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me. And I think it’s because they see me as one of them. But … cooler and with my life put together a little bit more. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war.”

– “Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth.’”

– “Nobody likes beets, Dwight. You should grow something everybody does like. You should grow candy.”

– “I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments, and that is when it’s nice to let them know that you could beat them up.”

– “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.”

– “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

– “You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards … when they’re acting retarded.”

– “If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”

– “Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn’t even talk yet.”

– “When I said that I was king of forwards, you’ve got to understand that I don’t come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.”

– “Yes, money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise.”

– “Hey, you wanna hear a lie? I think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”

– Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott:It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?

– “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me– no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.”

– “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this, compulsive, need, to be liked. Like my need to be praised.”

– “Oh I am taking responsibility. And it is up to me, to get rid of the curse, that hit Meredith, with my care. I am not superstitious, but I’m a little ‘stitious.”

– “Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They’ve got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then, suddenly she is not your ho no mo.”

– “Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”

– “Oscar, you’re gay! Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck! And you’re gayer than Oscar. Boom roasted!”

– “No no no no you will not die! Stanley! Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black Stanley!”

– “So it wasn’t Dwight after all. Looks like I’m the killer. You never expect that you’re the killer. It’s a great twist. Great twist.”

– “Nobody should have to go to work thinking, oh this is the place that I might die today. That’s what a hospital is for. An office, is for not dying. An office is a place to… live life to the fullest. To the max. To… an office is a place where dreams come true.”

– “Remember when people used to say “boss” when they were describing something really cool. Like, “those shoulder pads are really boss man.” “Look at that perm, that perm is so boss!” It’s what made me want to become a boss. And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads. But now, boss is just slang, for jerk in charge.”

– “They say that laughter is the best medicine, so, Stanley, you can throw away those pills you are cured. Actually, you should better hold on to those. Just in case.”

What makes me unique has brought every person I love into my life. ~ Ned, Pushing Daisies

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not great at a lot but recently my friend was filling out an application for something that asked him for a hidden talent. (His response by the way was, “I don’t know! It’s hidden, I can’t find it!” Which I thought was quite entertaining…) This question got me thinking, while I’m not great at most things, I do have a few things that I can do that most cannot. That’s what this post is about. My number one unusual talent though admittedly not that hidden because I use it all the time is my ability to quote complete movies and TV shows from memory. Now, obviously I don’t quote the entire thing quite often but I have the ability too. It’s great fun and I get great joy out of bringing TV and movie quotes into everyday life as much as possible. My second talent (and now that I’ve started this I’ve realized most aren’t hidden, just unique and unusual) is having a British accent. This one is weird because this happens when I don’t mean it to. So actually, I don’t even know if this counts as a talent. It’s mostly just weird… but for a while I had someone convinced I was British. So there.
Third, Ok. This seems lame but actually now that I’m on the third one I’m not sure I have a third weird talent. I probably do. I just can’t think of it right now, so this is a short post but I will be ending it now.
I hope you enjoyed my random, pointless post!
Hope ♥

P.S. Supernatural update – Season 5 is finished, season 6 is on its way!

Hope has Overcome Fear

As some of you know I haven’t been at my happiest recently, just going through some stuff really and not knowing how to get out of the sad feeling. After having a long talk with one of my best friends last night and the wonderful church service I attended yesterday however, I’m feeling slightly better. I’m not going to get into details about my feelings really because they’re not necessary for this post but let’s just say I’ve been feeling down and a bit discouraged about myself and because I’ve been feeling that way, I’ve been trying to cover up those feelings to make myself not seem weak. What my friend made me realize last night though (And yes, now I do realize it, it’s just gonna take me a while to remember it and act like it after covering up my feelings for so long) that it’s ok to be weak. It’s in my weakness that God can use me and be strong. I’ve written a few times about how much I struggle with confidence, with feelings of self-worth. I just don’t have those feelings, I’m working on it, I really am, and I believe last night’s discussion will help me a lot with that though I do have a long road ahead of me now working on that. I know that my strengths are loving people and being loyal to them no matter what, I know that I am loved by the King and I’m a child of God forever. I know that I’m striving towards what God wants me to do in life, to live my life for Him and spread His love to everyone. I don’t know how effective I am currently in that but I know that I’m working at it and that is what I strive for in life and God knows that, because of that and because that’s what I long for I believe that God can look at me and say that He is pleased. Obviously I could be doing more and I will continue to work for this and strive for this but I’m on my way to doing what He wants which means He is pleased. I am good enough. God died for me is how much He loves me and He thinks I’m worth that. So it’s time for me to step up, stop feeling weak and not good enough because I’m more than that, I’m worth God’s love and if I’m good enough for Him, I should most definitely be good enough for myself.
When I’m feeling down like this, I always keep my feelings mostly to myself, trying to hide how I really feel and never let most people know I’m feeling weak. I’m not entirely sure why I do this, partially because I’ve seen how my mom is when she’s weak and I don’t want to be like that and partially because I feel like my witness for Christ won’t be as effective if people see my weaknesses and flaws, but that’s not true at all. If people see I’m weak, but see that I still have hope in God, maybe they can be encouraged by the fact that even though I’m sad and discouraged sometimes I still know that God has a plan and I know that in all times God can use my weakness to show His strength. It’s like the old children’s song “Jesus Loves Me” says, yeah, it’s clichéd and over-sang sometimes but it’s true. “They are weak but He is strong, yes, Jesus loves me.” He does, He loves us no matter what and He’s ok with us being weak, He’s there for us, to love us and comfort us in those times and He will show Himself to others through those times.
I have to stop thinking of myself as not good enough because I am. God thinks I’m good enough to die for. And God wouldn’t let me go through these feelings of discouragement if He wasn’t going to strengthen me through it. He doesn’t just let us go through tribulations for no reason, (and no, that doesn’t mean I think He’s the one who gives us trials, He just allows us to go through them sometimes so we can learn and be strengthened through them) He wants to teach us. I can’t keep covering up my feelings, it’s ok for me to be weak sometimes, to show my weakness and to tell people the truth when they ask how I’m doing, maybe God can use these feelings to help others. So from now on when people ask, I’ll try and realize it’s ok to let them know that no, right now I’m not ok, but I will be, because God is good and I have hope in Him.
I am good enough, I am loved, I’m a child of God and He is pleased with me. As it says on the To Write Love On Her Arms website, “You are breathing. You are alive with so much purpose, so full of potential. The future is wide open and full of beautiful things yet to be discovered. We believe in hope, in finding it amongst the chaos of life. We believe in sharing it with each other, and telling stories in our own unique ways.”
I’m going to be ok. And so are any of you that are struggling.
Hope ♥

1 Peter 1:7 ~ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” — Benjamin Disraeli

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” — Malcolm S. Forbes

God our hope
He has overcome
All our failures
And all our fear
~ Hillsong United – Take Heart

Why Do I Blog, Anyways?

About a week ago, one of the blog posts on the Freshly Pressed page really impacted me. It was about why this person blogs. It was super well written and had great points and a fabulous quote from Doctor Who to start the post off (Said post is here: http://outsideair.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/what-blogging-has-tought-me/) and it got me to thinking, why do I blog? I’ve thought about it for a few days now and I’ve come up with a list (Some are actually the same reasons as the original post has but I’d been thinking of them before too! I swear I didn’t steal them! :D)

1. It’s a great escape to just write down all my thoughts. Writing them down (Er, um, typing them out) helps me really organize them and think about what’s actually going on and stuff. It helps me process things better and work out everything that’s happening to me.

2. It’s an awesome way to get connected to people from all over the world. When I started blogging almost two years ago now, I would’ve never dreamed I’d make any friends on here or that anybody would ever even read my blog, much to my surprise I’ve now passed over 40,000 all-time views and I have 77 subscribers. I’m so blessed by each and every one of you and any readers that may just lurk around and view my blog on occasion. Through this experience I’ve gotten to “meet” people from the opposite ends of the world from me. It’s so awesome to think that my just typing out my random thoughts has been able to accomplish that.

3. It’s a way to share my story and my faith with others. Sure, I don’t really have that much of a moving life story or even a super interesting one but apparently at least some people enjoy reading what I have to write on occasion and because of that I try to write things of encouragement a lot and write what I feel God has laid on my heart to share with others. While my life story really isn’t all that interesting to me, I desperately hope and pray that people can be encouraged by my faith and come to know how awesome God is in everything.

4. Blogging makes me feel like I might be good at something for once. I’m not saying I’m like the next C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling or anything but I’d like to think that I’m fairly decent at writing. It’s something I enjoy and something that I hope I can continue for a long time.

5. It’s something that really makes me happy and it’s a hobby that gives me something to look forward to. I enjoy the process of writing, editing, posting then checking for stats and any new comments. Sure, I might not get as many views as a lot of blogs and I really don’t get that many comments most often but I enjoy each and every one. Anytime I get a new comment or like on a post I get all happy inside. It shows that somebody took the time to read my work and they actually enjoyed it. It’s an incredible feeling that actually makes me feel confident and proud of myself.

So what about you, dear readers, why do you blog? Why do you enjoy reading other blogs?
And as always, thanks for reading. You all are amazing.
Hope ♥

C.S. Lewis Quotes

I love this post, so I had to share. And as you all know C.S. Lewis is my absolute favorite. :)

The Girl Who Waited

Amy Pond is known as the girl who waited on Doctor Who and eventually, as seen in “Closing Time” sort of, she realized that you can’t wait forever. She realized it was time for her to stop waiting and she did. I think I’ve come to that point as well. I can’t just sit around waiting for things to happen, yes, God will work His plan in my life but as a good friend pointed out recently, I don’t think God would want us to just sit around waiting for Him to work either, we have to do something, we can’t just expect Him to do all the work. He will if we don’t do anything because His plan will happen no matter what but sometimes He needs us to do something too and then the result is more rewarding. I’m not saying that in every situation we should take action, sometimes what God calls us to do is just wait, but other times we need to do what we’re supposed to.
Hope ♥

I Wish It Was Easier To Know What God Wants

This week I’ve been struggling a lot with the issue of whether to do something or not. I won’t get into details about it but I’ll just say it’s something quite a few people were telling me to do and I wasn’t sure whether I should or not. After a lot of prayer, a lot of Godly advice from wonderful friends and a wonderful message about prayer at Navigators student ministry on Thursday I think I’ve finally decided what to do. It’s kinda of a scary decision but I think it will be best and I’m pretty sure at this point it’s what God wants. This whole situation however has got me thinking, I want to please God more than anything and I so desire to do His will. But it’s so hard to figure out whether it’s my will so I’m looking for signs to show that God wants me too or if God is actually telling me to or something else. I’m afraid I’m sometimes being too timid on things because I don’t want to go against God’s will and just do my own thing. It’s something I’m really struggling with and despite all my prayer I’m still not entirely sure of the answer but I guess that I’ll just have to trust that as long as I want God’s will to happen I just have to trust that He’ll take whatever actions and use them for Him and I’ll just try my best to obey Him. If any of you have any advice on this subject, I would for sure love to hear it! I hope you’re all doing well and I love you all! Also, if you wouldn’t mind praying for me about the decision I’ve made, that would be swell. :)
Hope ♥

“I have one reason why you should walk away from that temptation right now. One reason: GOD. IS. BETTER.” – Francis Chan

And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age. ~ Matthew 28:20

On the day that you die and have to face God, do you honestly believe He will care about how many followers you had on tumblr or how many notes your posts got? No. He’ll want to know how you lived your life to glorify Him, and lead others to Him. Don’t forget about what really matters.

He rescued me because He delighted in me. – Psalm 18:19

I am a Christian because I love Christ, not because I’m afraid of Hell.

“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” ~ Augusten Burroughs

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” – C.S. Lewis

“It occurs to me it is not so much the aim of the Devil to lure me with evil as it is to preoccupy me with the meaningless.” – Donald Miller

My children, we must not only talk about loving people; we must show we love people by what we do for them. We must really love them. ~ 1 John 3:18

Tea and Tattoos

As I’m writing this, I’m currently sipping some hot tea while siting comfortably on my bed in my recently (as in today) redecorated room. Since coming home from college my room had been a huge mess because of the boxes my family had stuffed in here since during the school year it’s an empty room. I don’t really mind them using my room as storage space while I’m gone but even though break is now half way through, today I decided to organize their stuff a bit so I could have more room. Then I decided my walls looked to bare so I put up some quotes, some pictures and a few posters I had never gotten around to hanging up, it was quite the productive day. Anyways, that was a rabbit trail completely unrelated to today’s post.
When I started writing tonight, I wasn’t exactly sure where this post was going but the past few months I’ve been pondering getting a tattoo so that’s what I’m going to discuss today. I’ve had lots of friends get tattoos in the past few years and they’ve all loved them. At first, I didn’t really think I would ever be a tattoo girl. I don’t have a super high tolerance for pain, I want to be in the FBI so they probably wouldn’t want me having a tattoo that’s visible anyways and what on earth do I love enough to want on my body forever right? Also there’s the whole debate about whether Christian’s should even get tattoos. I mean, I’m sure my parents won’t be thrilled and there’s that verse in the Old Testament, ““You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD.” -Leviticus 19:28. With all of those things against them, why would I want a tattoo? But after a lot of thought, I’ve reached a different conclusion about them.
I’ll start with the verse. At first glance that quite clearly tells Christians not to get tattoos but many theologians have discussed this issue and I’ve researched it a bit and what I’ve found actually isn’t how this verse appears.
What people who’ve studied this verse (Who are much wiser than I am) have decided is that this verse was more about culture and is actually in it’s original translation saying do not make any marks about cult and ritualistic religious practices. Obviously, I’m not getting any Satanic tattoos so we’re good on that one. :) Another thing about that though is the majority of tattoos that I would want would actually be Bible verses or Christian quotes, a friend of mine recently said this on the subject and I share in her thoughts wholeheartedly. “If getting tattoos and piercings mean that I bring more people to God, that people will listen more, that more people fall in love with God, with Christ, how can it be wrong? I want God’s Word on my skin. I want it that close. I want to never be able to deny my faith. I want people to ask what and why. I want to be able to look down at my arms when I am downtrodden and hopeless, and remember the amzingness of my Lord. I want His triumphant Word emblazoned across my skin.” I couldn’t have said it any better. I want God’s word to be on me and I want even my skin to be a witness to God. So yeah, that’s my first reasoning.
Second, how the FBI will feel. Now obviously I can’t get like super obvious tattoos all over my body if I want to be in the FBI but there are definitely places where I could get one that could be obvious in some outfits but could be easily covered up at other times. Places like the back of my shoulders, my feet, and the top of my back. I really want one on my wrist eventually that I could maybe cover up with a watch or something too but I might wait til I’m actually in the FBI for that one. Just to make sure.
Third, pain tolerance. I mean, if I want it bad enough then I can get through the pain right?
Fourth, what on earth would I want on my skin forever? What do I love now that I will for sure love when I’m old and grey? Ok, well for someone who originally didn’t want any, I kind of have a lot. But they all mean a whole lot to me so try not to laugh at me too much. :)
1. I’ve been best friends with my friend Erin since 2nd grade. Both of us have struggled some with our parents and we’ve always been there for each other so we decided after we both graduate college we’re going to get matching tattoos on our feet that say, “Through all the hard times in my life those nights kept me alive”, lyrics from Skillet’s song, “Those Nights”

2. One on my other foot, lyrics from my favorite hymn, “Come Thou Fount”, “Take my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.” That lyric just is a symbol of how much I love and long for God and for Him to be my all.

3. A lyric from Relient K’s “The Moments I Feel Faint”, “Never underestimate my Jesus.” I feel like that one’s self explanatory. I mean, it just shows how awesome Jesus is, never underestimate Him. Oh, and I want that one on my left hip.

4. On my right hip I want some lyrics from the song “Everything” by Lifehouse. This song first started meaning a lot to me when I saw this skit on YouTube and I fell in love with it. I want this tattoo to say “And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?” It’s a good reminder of how many times God works in my life and I don’t even pay attention. I don’t want to be like that, I want to always see His work in my life. 

5. On my left side, I want a quote from one of my favorite Mumford & Sons songs, it’s a good reminder for life. “There will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.”

6. These next two are the somewhat sillier tattoos you might laugh at me for but I swear, they mean a lot to me. On my left shoulder, I want the Deathly Hallows symbol only with a lightning bolt instead of a straight line down the middle. I know I’ve said before how much Harry Potter means to me and I thought this was a nice way to show it. Definitely another reason that would cause my parents to freak though… So I’ll definitely wait a while for that one.

7. The other nerdy one I want is the J.R.R. Tolkien symbol because Lord of the Rings means just as much to me as Harry Potter. :)

8. On my back (Like the top so it could be seen in a tank top or dress or something) I want Hebrews 13:5 – For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

9.  I don’t know how much you all know about the organization To Write Love On Her Arms but it’s a ministry dedicated to helping people recover from self-harm, depression and suicidal thoughts. It touches my heart because I know people who’ve struggled with all of those things and it means a lot. Anyways, I want a small “love” on my wrist.

10. My favorite author, John Green, has a quote from his book, “Looking for Alaska” that says, “We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken.” This one I want on my left arm, towards the bicep.

Ok, that was quite possibly my longest post but I hope someone got enjoyment out of it. Do any of you have tattoos? Want tattoos? Have any thoughts of my want of tattoos?

I’ll write soon!
Hope ♥

Happy New Year! Have some quotes. :)

So, I bet since it’s New Years Eve you were expecting a stereotypical post about goodbye 2011, hello 2012 and everything about that. Well guess what? That’s not what I’m gonna write about. Nope. I’m gonna do the unexpected and write about something completely different! This post is going to be about some inspiring quotes, and please, if you have any meaningful Bible verses or quotes, please share!

– O that day when freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face.
Take my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above ~ Come Thou Fount

– He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

– And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by You? ~ Everything by Lifehouse

– If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. ~ C.S. Lewis

– Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. ~ C.S. Lewis

– We are far too easily pleased. ~ C.S. Lewis

– All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

– For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” ~ Hebrews 13:5

– You were made to meet your maker. ~ Mumford and Sons

– Love that will not betray you,
dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man
you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love
as it was made to be
~ Mumford and Sons

– It seems that all my bridges have been burned,
But, you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home
that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart
~ Mumford and Sons

– But you are not alone in this ~ Mumford and Sons

– How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
This weakness I feel I must finally show
Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
~ Mumford and Sons

– This is the last night you’ll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you’ll spend alone,
I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go,
I’m everything you need me to be.
~ Skillet

– Stay up late and we’d talk all night
In a dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
We’d listen to the radio play all night
Didn’t want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive
~ Skillet

– Now I’m in our secret place
Alone in your embrace
Where all my wrongs have been erased
You have forgiven
All the promises and lies
All the times I compromise
All the times you were denied
You have forgiven
~ Skillet

– Today I’m gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
‘Cause we don’t have long, gonna make the most of it
Today I’m gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
‘Cause tomorrow could be one day too late
One day too late
One day too late
~ Skillet

– Never underestimate my Jesus.
You’re telling me that there’s no hope.
I’m telling you you’re wrong.
~ Relient K

Happy New Year everyone!

Hope ♥