My Heart is Tired

I miss him. A lot. How do you stop loving someone who was with you every step of the way for a year and a half? How do you make yourself forget? How do you stop associating everything you did together with him? How do I start healing? I thought I was doing better but when he texted me yesterday wanting to still be friends I quickly learned that wasn’t the case.

I was working out when I recieved the text, I planned on staying at the gym longer but then I completely lost it as I read his text, I had to leave immediately where I just sat in my car and sobbed. He realized a couple texts in that I wasn’t ready, and apologized for not giving me enough time. He’s a good guy and I do want to be friends with him eventually, but that’s my problem. He’s a great guy, a guy I thought I would marry, the first guy I ever truly loved and the guy that taught me so much. It’s going to take time.. so much time.

I’m broken and I hate it. I’m so lonely and if I’m not at work and people are busy, I don’t even have anything to distract me. No more school, no projects or papers to keep my mind at ease. And everyone is busy or far away. I have friends that try to hang out when possible but 90% of the time I’m alone and I don’t know how to be alone.

Someone help me.


About elvishjesusfreak

I'm learning to love and be and grow up and things are hard but God is always so good.

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