Tag Archive | Heartbreak

Doctor Who Series 7 (Possible spoilers)

The new image released for the first episode “Asylum of the Daleks”

Last night at midnight my time the new trailer for the next season of Doctor Who was FINALLY released. After months of longing for more information the fandom was finally rewarded with a short trailer that of course made us more anxious than we were before and has caused us all to panic because of the spoilers that we are aware of in this next season.
We all know and have known for a while that in the 5th episode of this new season Amy and Rory will be leaving once and for all from the show and head-writer Steven Moffat has repeatedly teased us with horrible thoughts of “If you don’t cry at the Pond’s departure, I’m not doing my job” and “Not everyone makes it out alive, this time I mean it.” Obviously the fandom (Myself more than most apparently) has not take this news well as the Ponds are loved characters and we all know Moffat has a way of breaking our hearts on many occasions. (I have more than once likened him to an abusive boyfriend in the fact that he keeps hurting me time after time but I love him so I always go back. Being the troll he is, he would undoubtedly agree with the description.)
Anyways, as thrilled as I am about these new developments, the trailer as always just added more confusion. It’s looks super exciting though even though just the trailer itself broke my heart. The Daleks exploding things, the HORRIFYING baby weeping angel, the Doctor carrying a clearly-not-ok Amy Pond. My heart can’t take the feels.
I’m getting very anxious for this new season and look forward to it! I do wish they would hurry up and announce the release date though!


Relationships are Hard Sometimes

So up until recently my little sister had been in her first dating relationship. Obviously it’s not my story to tell so I won’t give you many details but basically she was with this guy for about 8 months and she really liked him (I will insert that I wasn’t a huge fan of him due to some of his previous actions but I will also say I didn’t know him well) but this past weekend she very clearly heard the Lord telling her this boy was not right for her. She talked to me about it a little bit and I know she was really struggling with it because she didn’t want to hurt him but she finally did the right thing and broke up with him. I’ve been in that situation in the past and seeing my sister deal with this was a good reminder that sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing there is but I’m confident that in the end this will be best.
It’s funny how that happens though isn’t it? The best things for us sometimes hurt the most when we’re going through them but let’s face it, as humans I’m not sure we would learn our lessons very well if they were always easy and things just always went smoothly for us. It’s sad yeah but I know that in the end God always has the best plan for us.
And in the meantime, through the hurt and pain all we can do is be there for people who are struggling with this. And sometimes it should be with some ice cream and a hug. :)

I Hope You All Had a Better Christmas Than My Family Did

I wonder if I’ll ever have a holiday where I’m happy. Where I don’t feel like crying and where my whole family isn’t mad at each other. I wonder every holiday what it would be like to have a family that loved me, or acted like a family or was happy for even an hour. I wonder what it’s like to not have a mom who blames you and your sister and your dad for everything that goes wrong in her life and I wonder what it’s like to have a mom who doesn’t storm out, crying and slamming the door behind her. I dream of someday knowing what that’s like, of someday feeling the Christmas spirit that all the books and the movies and the songs talk about, of feeling loved and happy.
Dad, you apologize for how mom is but you’re the only one who could do anything about it. You and mom always say the man should be the head of the household but you let mom drag you around and you agree with whatever she says to her face then later come to us and say sorry for her actions. If you were really sorry you’d stop it, or at least try. Saying sorry doesn’t fix anything, it’s the actions that do. For once in your life stand up for someone, anyone, me, Noelle, yourself, don’t let mom and her psychotic ways keep dragging our family around making us miserable 24/7. I know it sucks for you just as much if not more as it does for me and my sister but you’re honestly the only one who could stop it. And you’re also the only one who made a choice to belong to this family. On my Facebook I keep seeing people complaining about what they did or didn’t get for Christmas, I don’t care that no one asks me what I want and that I get things I can’t use, I really don’t. I just want to be happy on a holiday. For once. Why is that so much to ask? It’s not about the presents anyways. It’s about Jesus, He’s the whole reason for the season and we couldn’t even focus on that. We tried to read the Christmas story from Luke and mom said it was too late, that it wasn’t the right time and how could we be so ridiculous to want to read it now. Well don’t you all think that’s a bit backward? Presents instead of reading the Christmas story? The Christmas story is the only thing that matters. There wouldn’t be a Christmas without Jesus but more importantly there wouldn’t be any life living. Who cares about the presents and the lights and the Christmas music? I mean yeah, those things are great but there nothing with Christ. So please, why can’t we just focus on Him and at least act like we like each other. For once. Please, before you break mine and more importantly my sister’s hearts. You’re destroying us. This year at school I’ve learned to be strong and because of my friends back at school and because of my relationship with Christ and because of fantasy worlds like Doctor Who and even because I have this blog I can stay strong and survive this but my sister has to stay here year round with you all by herself and I don’t know if she can take it. She’s strong but even the strongest would crumble here.
Please, just be nice.

I’m a Failure

I hurt people without meaning to, I’m terrible at Anthropology and failed my test last week. I can’t find anyone who I am interested in that is also interested in me. I say the wrong thing all the time, I’m just an awkward person. I wish I knew what to do, I hurt someone really bad without even knowing it and now I think I lost a really good friend.
I told someone my feelings and I know he doesn’t like me back but I wish he would come out and say it so I didn’t have this stupid girly hope that there might be something there, since all he said was he doesn’t know what to say or how to feel. Ugh. I like him a lot and I just can’t get over it! It’s ridiculous, as always, I’m just the friend, he won’t see me as more than that so why can’t I get that through my freaking head?!
I’m bad at giving advice. I listen to people’s problems all the time and I’m happy to do so but I never know how to help. My parents think I’m terrible and nothing I ever do pleases them. Why can’t I just figure out what to do? Everyone else is so much more put together than I am and I’m just always saying or doing the wrong thing.
God, please just help me not to be so confused. Help me to focus on You more and let You guide my actions and thoughts and everything. I’m tired of feeling like a failure in everything that I do but I don’t know how to fix it. I feel so sick that I hurt my friend and I already miss the friendship.

I’m afraid to fall in love again.

Many of you suffered through my ramblings of my heart break last winter. That was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, enough so that as much as I hate to admit it, it made me more than a little bit fearful to fall in love again. The past few weeks I’ve kinda been feeling something for one of my guy friends as much as I’m trying to deny it. I mean, we’re good friends, and not only do I not want to go through the pain of ANOTHER broken heart (If we could skip on any of those for the rest of my life that would be swell!) but I also don’t want to lose another good friend. Now in this particular case, I’m sure this won’t matter because I’m quite sure he’ll never feel the same about me but it just makes me think of the future. I’m so scared that I’ll fall for someone else and they’ll say they like me too but they end up breaking my heart all over again. People who’ve never had a broken heart don’t realize that the term broken heart is an understatement. It’s more like having your heart ripped out, stepped on, stabbed and tossed out and then parts of it put back in your body. It’s literally the worst thing ever… And it makes me scared. About several things. I’m scared to fall in love again and be hurt again, but I’m scared if I don’t listen to my feelings that I’ll miss something awesome… I just wish I knew right now who I was going to end up with.

Life is (unfortunately) not a romance novel.

There’s heartbreak. Sometimes you experience it. Sometimes you cause it. I honestly don’t know which is worse, and least when you’re experiencing it there’s nothing you can do about it. When you cause it, you feel completely and utterly responsible. And awful about it. Because sometimes the person you hurt is a wonderful person but is just not right for you. And it really is the worst. I don’t like hurting people, intentionally or on accident. I know there’s a person in the world, a soul mate for everyone but it’s hard going through people who aren’t. I wish that in our lives we would only fall for one person. The one person who will love us and stay by our sides forever. That would sure save a lot of heartbreak and loss.

Heartbreak is the worst.

When someone is heartbroken, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make it better. You can say I’m sorry all you want but it won’t help them at all, the only thing that can heal it is God and time. Right now I have a good friend going through a lot of heartbreak right now and she’s so hurt that it’s hurting me. I obviously won’t go through the details of her pain but what happened has left her quite hurt and upset. I wish more than anything that I could take that hurt away. As much as I was hurt when my heart was broken, I would do it all again if I could take the pain away from my friends. I just can’t bear seeing any of them so hurt. I can stay up and talk to her but in the end, as much as I want to help, nothing I say will actually truly help her.
The saddest thing is she is absolutely amazing and she deserves the absolute very best in her life. She’s beautiful, she’s one of the best singers I’ve ever heard (She got a 1 at music fest this year!), shes hilarious, she’s always there when anyone needs her, she’s so caring. It kills me how much she’s beating herself up for this!
Girl, if you read this, know I love you and no matter what you think you deserve the very best and since he doesn’t feel the same, he doesn’t deserve you! Someday, God will send you the most amazing guy ever. I know it hurts so bad right now, but God has a plan for you. I absolutely promise.
Hope ♥