Ok so it’s finals week which honestly is my favorite week of the year. I know that sounds crazy but as stressful as a week full of tests is, in college there are no classes during finals week so it’s better than many times during the year. I have 4 finals this week but several times during the year I had classes all week, 4 tests and quizzes and papers also due so while cumulative finals or getting a certain grade can be very stressful, it could and has been way worse.
Today however was worse than usual, I hadn’t yet taken any of my finals, one opened online today, one is online on Thursday and two are on Friday. The one that opened today was the cause of my stress and pain. ASDFKHDSKFHASDFKHSDFH. I’m still not over it. But ok, so this class, Urban Sociology, WORST TEACHER I HAVE EVER EVEN HEARD OF!!! Here’s the breakdown of the class: 2 papers and a final. 40 readings for the whole class time, 50+ pages each. The teacher failed us all on the first paper, later decided he couldn’t do that so he changed them all to Ds, we don’t have the grade for the last paper and the final was comprehensive, 37 questions over all of the readings with no study guide. THAT IS OVER 900 PAGES TO READ FOR 37 QUESTIONS!!!! So I was super nervous going into taking that but decided to go ahead and get it over with.
It was this evening after dinner, around 7:30, studied for a bit, sitting in the basement with Andrew and Tia who were also studying. Halfway through my test, about to cry from stress, pretty sure I still have no idea what I’m doing when all the sudden we smell smoke. At first we assume it was a guy that randomly came downstairs right as we started smelling it. Then the smell grew and we saw RAs running around frantically. We decided at this point we should probably go outside, about halfway up the stairs the fire alarms go off so our whole building evacuates. FOR AN HOUR. WHILE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING A TIMED TEST BUT THE INTERNET WON’T WORK OUTSIDE.
Yeah, apparently the trash room on the first floor caught fire due to faulty wiring but once we finally were allowed back and inside I went back to my test that had 30 minutes left on it and finished it. I still have no clue how I did and feel that it’s a very real possibility I could have failed it and possibly failed the class. *BREATHE HOPE*
Because of this, I kind of had an emotional breakdown. I had finished it sitting in Blake and Sonjay’s room while Blake play a game on the computer and Andrew continued his studying. After I finished Andrew and Sonjay went to go study elsewhere and I flopped down on Blake’s bed in anguish. Being the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, he paused his game, hugged me and then suggested we watch an episode of Supernatural together. I agreed and he played it and went back to his game. I thought I was ok, I really did and I tried to be but then I kept thinking of how much I fail and how I suck at really everything, the next time Blake looked back at me moments later, he could tell I wasn’t ok and saw I was about to burst into tears any second. He paused his game again and Supernatural, sat on his bed with me and just held me, telling me it was ok to cry (Though I’ve now trained myself to never cry so only a few tears escaped). We sat that way a little bit and he reminded me that what’s done is done and I did the best I could. By this time I was feeling a little better but he decided to take it further and drive me to McDonald’s and buy me a chocolate milkshake and an apple pie (No guys, this sounds nice but you don’t know that PIE IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER AND I WOULD PROBABLY KILL FOR IT). We sat in his car and ate our pies and drank our milkshakes then returned to the dorms and watched the rest of the Supernatural episode.
So yeah, moral of the story.. I’m still worried I failed but I did try my best and somehow I’ve found the most amazing boyfriend ever. Who will pause a video game just to make sure I’m ok when I’m being stupid.
May the Fourth be with you all today! Happy Star Wars day! :) Get it? Like May the Force be with you? But instead it’s May the fourth? *Starts laughing hysterically* Haha. Yes. I’m a nerd and I’m proud of it.
Anyways, today was my last day of classes so one week, 4 finals and many floor shenanigans to go and I’m a junior in college. Next Saturday I’ll be leaving my college town for two weeks (One of those to go visit Georgia, the time is almost here!) and the other to just go home before I come back and work at the financial aid office for the summer. I’m pretty excited. This next week shouldn’t be to bad, I’ll certainly be studying a lot this weekend but I’m also planning on spending a lot of time with my friends and causing general shenanigans as well. I promise after I’m done with finals my posts will get longer and better again and hopefully have a point. :) Until then I’ll just try to keep you all updated, maybe put in some end of the year pictures.
I hope you’re all doing well!
Ok so after a terrifyingly stressful weekend of studying, my hard finals are finally over. I have one more final on Thursday but I have an A in that class and it should be easy. But anyways, sorry I haven’t written but I have been doing so much studying my brain has turned to mush. Fortunately though even though I’m worried about what my final grades will be I have this awesome feeling of accomplishment similar to how Frodo felt after throwing the ring into the fiery chasm from whence it came. *Sigh* Relief. Never again will I be taking Anthropology. Will not happen.
Anyways, my weekend consisted of, studying, ice skating Friday night (and falling only once! Well sorta twice but the second time was just because of a domino affect that knocked me over when I was standing at the rail), Christmas shopping for a While Elephant party on Saturday, more studying and getting a drastic haircut (I’m at work now so I don’t have the access to my pictures but I’ll post some later!), having a deep discussion Saturday night til 3am, going to church Sunday morning, studying, having a floor Christmas party where we watched a Charlie Brown Christmas and I got a pack of fake mustaches for the White Elephant gift (Thanks again, Connor, I kinda love them!) and studying some more. Yesterday I took my Cultural Anthropology final, played with NERF guns for a while, studied for today’s Physical Anthropology final (hearby known as the most evil thing in existence), watched Lord of the Rings: Return of the King for inspiration, then was rudely awoken at 3 this morning by the fire alarm in my building. This morning I studied some more, took the final and went to work so now I’m feeling quite relieved and much happier (though quite tired as well). So sorry that this post has been a random jumble of thoughts but there you go! I’ll post pictures of my hair and our Christmas party later!
Hope you’re all doing quite well! :)
Today is over! All 3 finals out-of-the-way, I’m finally a sophomore! I don’t yet know what grades I got on my finals so I’m still quite anxious about that but hopefully I did well and now I can stop stressing about that however, due to another conversation with my parents, grades seems the least of my worries for the summer. I can honestly say that if I had any choice on going home, I wouldn’t, at all. I would go anywhere but there. I can’t stand it, I’m just so thankful I have good friends who has said they’ll kidnap me if it gets to bad and a blog where I can let my thoughts out on. Without those things and most importantly God, I’m not going to lie, I would’ve at least self-injured quite a lot. Normally I’m super good at hiding my feelings, if I don’t want you to know how I’m feeling, you would never know, but in the past few weeks, I’ve been so depressed because of my mother that people who barely know me have seen me crying and have known I am depressed. It’s terrible, and I hate, I like hiding my feelings. I hate when others see me cry. My best friends from 2nd grade have only seen me cry twice, and those were both when I was moving away from them.
I don’t like this weakness at all but I can’t stop it. My parents (Especially my mom) don’t even seem to realize what they’re doing to me. Mom keeps reprimanding me on how I’m not respecting her enough, and how I make her feel worthless and how all she does it make sure I’m taken care of. I honestly can’t see any evidence of what’s she’s done for me. Everything I say she just twists around to make me the bad guy. She literally called me, yelled at me, then hung up on me tonight. Then she called my dad crying about how terrible I was to her and he called me and made me apologize. When I talked to her again, she complained about the way I said “I love you” to her the phone call before. Apparently I wasn’t sincere enough and I sounded rude.
I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through the summer… No one should ever dread to come home. No one should wish more than anything that they didn’t have to go home again.
Proverbs 15:4 ~ Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.
Oh gosh, how I hate finals. They’re really the worst! Why can’t we just accept the grade we got in the class and be done with it? I mean really, that would make perfect sense but no, instead we have to take finals that are ridiculous and stupid and I have all three of my finals tomorrow. I wish they had all been at the beginning of the week just so I could get them over with! I have History (which I’m slightly worried about because I FEEL like I know all the information but the teacher always asks random questions we never talked about!) then Juvenile Delinquency (Don’t laugh! It’s a real class! It’s for my Criminology major!) then Spanish 4. Arg. Now all of my friends are done with theirs and I’m having to study, it’s the worst! I just want to hang out and also watch more TV… Alas, I cannot. Though I did take quite a long break and watch a lot of Charlieissocoollike’s videos on YouTube. He just makes me laugh a lot which is something I needed since I’m sorta freaking out… I mean, I know I have two A’s for the semester but the three finals I’m taking tomorrow I have low B’s in those classes and yes, I’ve tried my very hardest but I CAN’T get a C! I will be super disappointed with myself and my parent’s will kill me I just, ah…. I’m so stressed. :( I need this to be over with! Not that this summer will be any better but my brain is just completely checked out of school stuff.
I cannot wait til tomorrow is over!
First off let me say, that as of yesterday I have had this blog for a full year! A full year and 5,066 all-time views! Thanks to everyone who ever reads this! I really appreciate it!4 days left and I am out of here! It’ll be officially summer and I can go home. Granted, I actually would rather stay here as I think I have more fun here than I will during the summer since I’ll have to find a job and such but still, it’ll be nice to be where I can see my friends at home and my family.
Today I did almost nothing productive, schoolwork/studying wise I did nothing productive (My finals aren’t til Thursday) but I did get most of my stuff all packed up which is good I suppose. :) After some packing and some watching of Gilmore Girls, Shelby, Denise, Alex and I (And some other friends) went outside to lay out in the beautiful weather! It was perfectly warm (97 to be exact) and was just the right amount of windy so that lying out in it was splendid! Unfortunately, do to the abnormally pale skin that I was born with, this was not a good idea. At least not a good idea for two hours… It felt lovely while I was out there but after coming back inside and taking a shower (and having the water go out while I was in the shower) I realized that I have a terribly bad sunburn. Yep, my legs and my back/shoulders quite resembles a lobster right now I’m afraid. After 19 years, I really should’ve learned by now that I will never be tan and the sun will never be nice to be. All well. Hopefully soon I will not be in pain because of it and perhaps it’ll eventually turn into a tan. For once. :/
Anyways, this weekend finished off quite well as well. Yesterday I went to church and then hung out with Shelby, Alex and Denise. For dinner our dorm floor had a banquet where we had some delicious pasta and then took a lot of pictures perfectly describing all of our friendships. Ah, I’m gonna miss those girls. Especially Shelby and Alex. We’re like 3 peas in a pod. But really, all of my floor is really great. Great group of girls. :)
I hope you all had a great weekend too!