Tag Archive | Thoughts

Nobody Cares When They Ask How Your Weekend Was


Everyone wants you to respond with, “good” or even “it was fine.”

No one wants to know if it was bad.

No one cares that you sat down and cried in a forest so no one could see you.

No one cares that you miss your boyfriend so much it literally hurts you to think about.

No one wants to know you were so lonely and so sad you didn’t leave your couch for five hours.

No one wants to know that even if there had been someone to hang out with you would’ve made an excuse because there’s only one person you wanted to be with.

No one cares that your roommate is terrible and driving you crazy.

When people ask how your weekend was, no one actually wants to know.

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In Regards to Miley


In regards to the events at the VMAs, I think we can all agree that it was distasteful, disgusting, vulgar and honestly degrading to Miley herself.

I have several thoughts on the subject:

  • Robin Thicke: People keep saying this was his fault and why is no one blaming him and why didn’t he stop her. He was being professional, obviously he couldn’t politely just push her away on National TV but if you compare this performance to ANY of his other performances recently he is usually MUCH more enthusiastic, here he was stone faced and clearly as uncomfortable as the rest of us.
  • Slut Shaming: I don’t approve of the fact that it’s called slut shaming because that sounds super hateful but SOMETIMES IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. If no one says anything about lewd behavior like this, it will continue to happen and will get worse. If no one steps up and says this isn’t ok, HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW TO STOP?
  • Miley: I’m sorry to say this but this whole performance was in part largely due to her parents and our culture. She was clearly begging for attention, that wasn’t a performance like we’re usually used to, this was clearly, 100% begging for attention. How sad is that? This is a girl who grew up in the spotlight, always getting attention, everyone telling her how wonderful she is, there was nothing to keep her grounded at all! Her whole performance was begging us the audience to notice her, to tell her she’s pretty, that she’s sexy. Sure not every child celebrity ends up like that but the majority do, it’s not good.

A Post About Feels I Don’t Know How to Deal With


So… I was looking through my old posts and found this. The day I went Facebook official with Blake I posted this. Oh how much has changed in 6 months. I’ve found love and it is real and it’s amazing. :)

Elvishjesusfreak's Blog

I like him. I like having a hand to hold. Someone who cares. I like having someone who can tease me but cares enough to listen to my serious thoughts too. I like having someone I can spend all my time with and not tire of his company.

It scares me though. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t believe in love. I believe that things like this lead to people getting hurt, me getting hurt doesn’t bother me as much but I can’t hurt him. It won’t work, these things never do. It scares me to know that someone cares about me. It scares me to know that someone wants to spend all their time with me and not tire of me. It scares me that someone tells me I’m awesome and lovable.  It scares me that someone wants to take me on dates and hold me in their arms.

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Feeling


My heart is sad, but happy. Texting is fun but I want to hug you. I want to lean on your shoulder and whisper in your ear that I love you. I want to feel your soft touch a you caress my back. I want to see the look you give me when you think I’m not looking, the look where I can tell how much you care about and love me.
I feel selfish for wanting this when I know I’m lucky to have you, I’m so lucky to have met you, much less that you decided I was worth caring about.
I try not to be selfish in this way but I don’t like you being far away, I want you back here, with me and our friends where you belong.
I miss you so much. I care about you so much, and love you so much, it fills my heart with joy that I finally have you. You were worth all the long, lonely years of waiting and feeling hopeless about finding someone.
We’re perfect for each other and I’m so happy.
I love you.

Thoughts from Right Now


I’ve always enjoyed writing but I rarely have ideas. I’m not creative enough to create worlds or beautiful stories that change the lives of people reading. That won’t ever be me, but I still enjoy it.

I enjoy writing out my thoughts, venting, just getting it all out, somehow it helps clear my head. I don’t have beautiful ways of saying things, or interesting stories to tell or poetry to write, but I will continue to do it anyways.

Right now, there’s not a lot on my mind, not a lot people want to read about anyways.

I’m thinking about my family. How much it hurts, how much I don’t want to go back and how much I wish I could get my sister out of there and just never have contact with our parents again. I’m thinking how much I wish things were different, how they were loving and caring and weren’t spiteful and heartless.

I’m thinking (months ahead of time, but it’s bothering me regardless) how much I wish decisions were easy. I wish I could just not go home for holidays and it be ok and not end up hurting my sister in the process.

I’m thinking about how glad I am school is starting soon and friends will start returning.

I’m thinking about the friends who won’t return, who’ve graduated or transferred and who I don’t know if I’ll ever see again.

I’m thinking of my boyfriend, who I love so much. How glad I am he’s been able to visit for a week before going home and we’ll be apart for a year, with only short visits in between.

I’m thinking of how attached I’ve become again to him always being at my side, always available to hug and kiss and to make me smile.

I’m thinking of the sleepy way he looks when he’s stayed up all night but drives me to work anyways, how adorable it is.

I’m thinking of how he looks at me when I’ve been sleeping and he accidentally wakes me up and he looks at me more lovingly than I knew anyone could and whispers how much he loves me and how beautiful I am.

I’m thinking of how in love I am and how much things have changed in the past few months, I went from never thinking anyone would care about me to being happily in love with the most perfect of boyfriends.

I’m thinking how glad I am that though my blood family sucks, I have been blessed with the most amazing family of friends who cares about me and loves me and legitimately wants to spend time with me.

 


Depression isn’t just sadness.

It isn’t something you can fix by finding something to make you happy.

It’s the voice that pulls you out of your happiness,

the voice that makes you worry how things will go wrong soon.

The voice that tells you nothing is good enough.

The voice that whispers to you that no one cares.

The voice that says you don’t deserve to happiness.

There doesn’t have to be a reason to be depressed,

Everything could be perfectly fine until it rears its ugly head.

Telling you to bleed, to slide the blade over your smooth skin once more.

Telling you how worthless and screwed up you are.

Telling you that people who care are a lie, they won’t stick around.

They never do.

 

People think depression is just sadness,

they tell you to get over it or

they, with good intentions, try to help.

They don’t understand it’s not that easy.

It’s not something you can help.

It’s more than that,

And I don’t know how to stop it.

A Post About Feels I Don’t Know How to Deal With


I like him. I like having a hand to hold. Someone who cares. I like having someone who can tease me but cares enough to listen to my serious thoughts too. I like having someone I can spend all my time with and not tire of his company.

It scares me though. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t believe in love. I believe that things like this lead to people getting hurt, me getting hurt doesn’t bother me as much but I can’t hurt him. It won’t work, these things never do. It scares me to know that someone cares about me. It scares me to know that someone wants to spend all their time with me and not tire of me. It scares me that someone tells me I’m awesome and lovable.  It scares me that someone wants to take me on dates and hold me in their arms.

I don’t know what to do about it.