The Future is Coming
The future is coming quickly, it’s a just a year and a month til I graduate, til I’m done with formal education forever. I know what I want to do, I want to be on the police force in my college town, at least for a bit, maybe move onto more law enforcement later but that’s mostly it. I know that, but I’m still terrified. I have a plan but the fact that I’m almost completely on my own, I’m moving into my first apartment, out of the dorms next month and it scares me.
How did this happen? How did I get to be an adult? A 21-year-old, with an awesome boyfriend, working and paying for college on my own, about to move out into the real world depending completely on myself. I need to save for a car. I need to focus fully on school now that I’m at the end. I need to be the person I’m supposed to be, the person God wants me to be. I need to put God first in my life, above all else, I need to trust.
Growing up is weird, I have a month before I move into my apartment now. This summer will certainly be better than last, I’ll have an actual home instead of living on someone’s couch, I’ll still be working at the same place and be away from my family (which is a blessing) but this summer I’ll have friends up here with me and won’t be alone. I don’t feel like an adult still though, will that ever happen? Will I ever feel independent of people?
I don’t know. I don’t know a lot of things. I’m scared. The future is terrifying but God is in control. I’m blessed. I don’t know what’ll happen next year, whether I’ll get the policing job I want. I don’t know. But I do know God loves me and will provide. He’s given me a family of friends that means the world to me and He’ll never abandon me.
And that is comforting.