This is My Story
Ok, so basically I was raised in a church, my parents took me twice a week, that’s how I was raised. (Though I’ve now come to unfortunately doubt just how strong in their personal faiths my parents are due to their actions, I hope they’re truly Christians though.) When I was about 3, they took me to a Billy Graham crusade where I asked to be taken down for the altar call and accept Christ. Since I was so young, when I was about 9 I prayed again, with more of an understanding this time, really thinking about how I wanted to serve God.
For a while, I just went about my life, I obeyed my parents, never cussed, never drank, never did anything slightly rebellious at all but I also didn’t do anything fantastic either. I just lived and always made excuses about why I never went out my way to witness to people, “I might say the wrong thing, turn people away.” “I’m not good at speaking.” “God will use other people.” All those excuses are crap, as a Christian it is literally a command that I go out and tell people the good news, even though I don’t have all the answers nor am I good at speaking, it’s my job, God will take care of the rest.
Anyways, I got a little bolder at the end of high school, I had a really awesome Youth Group that helped me grow in my faith but I still wasn’t so keen on sharing but I continued in growth and fellowship.
Sophomore year of college, (Last year) completely changed everything. I had about 6 really close friends on my floor who were incredibly strong Christians and we spent so much time fellowshipping, worshipping and discussing our faith amongst ourselves and with others on my floor. One of them, Kyle, my RA, has the most incredible passion for Christ I’ve ever seen. People who hate God and Christians would go up and ask him about his faith because it’s so infectious and he just loves with the most incredible, God-like love I’ve ever seen. They all helped me last year, but Kyle helped me the most.
Seeing him and the way he loved everyone, made me want that too. I want to love like God does and bring everyone I possibly can to Him.
Throughout my life, though I’ve been incredibly blessed, I’ve also gone through a lot of crap. My parents are not… the most loving. We’ll say that. For years I’ve constantly heard things like how much I suck and how I’m the worst person imaginable and I’m a disappointment, a whole lot of verbal abuse that honestly I think comes partially from my mother possibly having a mental disorder. I don’t blame them for it because I don’t know if it’s intentional but it still hurts and has left me in a lot of pain and I’m damaged to say the least.
Going through all that stuff with my family has been so hard, especially in the past 5 years or so and there have been many times when I wasn’t sure if I could make it. I didn’t have the will to go on or the hope to see a way out or a future. I’ve hard dark times and while I’m not out of that depression to say the least, I have a bit of hope for the future just because of how faithful God has always been.
Even in little things, which to me mean more than big things, God has been faithful and has always shown Himself and how much He cared. Things like providing a job and housing for last summer when it appeared originally there would be nowhere. Things like bringing the closest friends I’ve ever met and the friends who have accepted me more tightly than a family would when people I thought were my friends left. Even smaller things, like finding a Loki t-shirt I had wanted for months on a super intense sale. God has been incredibly faithful and awesome through everything.
Because of that, that’s why I believe. That’s why through all my hard times I won’t give up. That’s why I trust in Him even when everything looks hopeless. I suck and am so unworthy of everything He’s blessed me with but He loves me and provides for me anyways.
I don’t know what I’d do without my faith and the people I love. I have been blessed.
Jeremiah 29:11 ~ “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”