2012 – A Year of Ups and Downs
This past year has been full of ups and downs. Losses of old friends, gaining wonderful new ones who have changed my life. This year I lived on my own for the first time, felt pure loneliness and sorrow, learned to stand up for myself, learned to lean on God fully for comfort, learned to be more vulnerable, learned that sometimes pain is worth it. I got into even more fandoms – Sherlock, Supernatural and all things Marvel and got my cartilage of my ear pierced with my best friend. I started my junior year of college and though it was one of my easier semester academically, it was my hardest personally. I dealt with people not caring, with being joyful through pain, with not taking on everyone else’s pain so much that it hurt me.
I’ve realized to let go of those who won’t to leave your life, yeah it hurts, but if they don’t care, you can’t make them stay and it’s not healthy to keep caring about them so much. I’ve learned who my real friends are, and that they’ll stick around no matter what. Through pain, joy, struggles and triumphs, they’re the people who care. I’ve learned that those people are few and far between but it’s better to have a few people who genuinely care and love you than a lot who pretend to.
I went on my first date, had my first kiss, had my first real break up (Which I haven’t gone into and don’t plan to, but all you need to know is everything will be ok there, we’re still going to be friends and he’s legitimately a wonderful person. He just apparently wasn’t the one for me.), went on spontaneous adventures with the people who mean the most to me, got an average of 4 hours of sleep a night for good three weeks, started watching anime, jumped off a high diving board for the first time, got my belly-button pierced on a whim, saved a life, FINALLY saw the Hobbit after 12 years of waiting (AND IT WAS PERFECT. Dang… I still need to write about that.)
Lots of stuff has happened obviously, many bad things but also many good things and I think too many times this year I’ve overlooked those good things. This next year I’ve set aside a jar, and every so often I’m going to place a piece of paper with every good thing that happens and then next year on New Year’s Eve I’ll take them all out and re-read them. I’ve been hopeless and sad for too long. I’m gonna get over this. I will survive.