12/21/12 ~ Dear Future Husband
Dear Future Husband,
I post this almost every week, and yet I don’t know if I believe you’re actually out there. I hope you are, and in the dreams I don’t admit I have I picture that you are but I don’t really truly believe it. I had a bit of hope for a bit but let my guard down and started caring again and then it ended, as I’ve come to expect it always will. I want to be a great person for you, and if you’re there, I will be, I’ll love you unconditionally and be there and care more than anyone else, but apparently that’s not good enough, I always do something wrong, something that makes people leave. And that scares me, because I don’t even know what that is…
I’m sorry I’m the way that I am, if you’re out there. I’ll try to be different, I swear.
From To My Future Spouse Tumblr:
– “Tonight, you’re on my mind. Broken down and hungry for your love, with no way to feed it…”
– “Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; Love shouldn’t be one of them.”
– It’s so unbelievably hard to be a true Christian young woman in society today while remaining pure for God’s purpose. But the one thing that keeps me going is the fact that I know I have you to look forward to. Among all of the chaos of school, friends, and impersonators of you, I just want to give up sometimes. But then I think about how one day I’ll meet you in the most unexpected way and we’ll just know. We’ll just know that God made us to be together because we compliment each other so incredibly well. We’ll know that we were meant to go to sleep next to each other and wake up in the same way for the rest of our lives. We’ll know that our future was so worth the wait.
So stay positive, don’t let your heart get hardened, stay in the Lord above all else, and don’t forget that I’m patiently waiting and saving myself for you, stud.
– I’ve realized something:Relationships scare me. I’m terrified of physical contact. I don’t even know what to do in those kinds of situations. I’m hopelessly a wkward when I speak and have no idea what to say, I sometimes just sit in silence. But with you, I know it will be different. You won’t laugh at me like the rest of them. You’ll be patient with me, love me one step at a time like I will love you. I still have faith that you’re out there and that you exist. I have to constantly remind myself that every day. All I ask is that you be patient with me, please.
– Come up behind me in the kitchen when I’m cooking, whisper sweet nothings into my ear, wrap your arms around my waist and kiss my neck….then we will order take-out because I know for a fact dinner will burn ;)