And yet again I’m home, this time I’m determined to do something. I have to help my sister because she’s here by herself all the time and as much as my mom’s comments hurt and scar me, they’re actually killing her and I can’t just leave her like this. I’m going to talk to my dad, chances are he won’t do anything about it, like usual but I have to try. Maybe if I tell him how much I’ve struggled and how much it’s hurt me he’ll open his eyes and man up and do something. This isn’t healthy, this is abuse and this is destroying not just our family but mines and my sister’s lives.
Honestly, as dramatic as this sounds, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ok because of this, I don’t know if anyone can ever make me feel like I’m worth something because I’ve spent so long believing and hearing I’m not. What am I worth? To people I mean, to God I’m worth something because we all are. But to a human? What do I have to offer? I don’t know. According to my mom, nothing. She told me today she doesn’t even like me. What a shock that one was, not.