Living is More than Simply Existing
So are you all know, recently I’ve been struggling with loneliness and just feeling sort of dissatisfied with how things are going this year. Which is silly, because really things are going swimmingly even if they’re not going exactly as I had wished. But last night, Carrie and I were talking after dinner about how though we know we’re in the places we’re supposed to be this year on campus, we’re still dissatisfied and happy with things and we just have the feeling for something different. We were both feeling this way and then after we split ways, we ended up both having incredible conversations with new friends about the work God is preparing us to do this year. It was cool. I ended up getting to talk to one of the guys on my new floor about his faith and how several of the other guys are really working at evangelizing to people and just fully loving them. He also told me that for several years in this dorm that there has been incredible male, Christian leadership but there’s been a lack of female Christians and that last year he was praying for a strong Christian girl to come over and voila, here I am. So that was incredible since I was so obviously called by God to be over here anyways. It’s also humbling to find out you are an answer to prayer.
So yeah, last night was super encouraging and incredible and then this morning at church the message seemed completely aimed at me and Carrie.
The pastor talked about how God shows us our need for His word through humbling circumstances in our lives. One example of this was when God led the Israelites into the wilderness to live for 40 years. He was testing them, to expose their true hearts and humble them. He wanted them to have real faith, not just have God as a crutch simply because He had always provided in the past. He wanted them to see exactly how much they needed Him. Man doesn’t live on bread alone, they need to live on everything God has to offer. It was really cool hearing that because clearly I’m not as bad off as the Israelites but I can sympathize with how they felt. Completely out of their comfort zone, away from things they’ve known and into where they had to fully depend on God for everything. Even their food, they didn’t have any, they ate manna that literally came from the word of God, if God hadn’t spoken that food into existence each day they would have starved, but He did. He always provides. I really see a parallel of that in my own life because now that I’m away from the people I’ve depended on, my crutch, so to speak, I have to depend on His next move, not just trying to make my own way.
If we don’t feel like we have to have God for everything, if we feel like we can do anything ourselves, we become proud and we forget to lean on God like we should. We need Him to just be God.
We have to risk it, sometimes, it’s going to be easier to just stay when it’s comfortable and familiar. You’ve been hurt before and you’re so scared of that happening again that you’ll just stay where you are to avoid the pain again. But God has a plan, just listen to what His will is. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt or disappointed again because God will make it work, He has a perfect plan and He will make everything right in the end.