Hope has Overcome Fear
As some of you know I haven’t been at my happiest recently, just going through some stuff really and not knowing how to get out of the sad feeling. After having a long talk with one of my best friends last night and the wonderful church service I attended yesterday however, I’m feeling slightly better. I’m not going to get into details about my feelings really because they’re not necessary for this post but let’s just say I’ve been feeling down and a bit discouraged about myself and because I’ve been feeling that way, I’ve been trying to cover up those feelings to make myself not seem weak. What my friend made me realize last night though (And yes, now I do realize it, it’s just gonna take me a while to remember it and act like it after covering up my feelings for so long) that it’s ok to be weak. It’s in my weakness that God can use me and be strong. I’ve written a few times about how much I struggle with confidence, with feelings of self-worth. I just don’t have those feelings, I’m working on it, I really am, and I believe last night’s discussion will help me a lot with that though I do have a long road ahead of me now working on that. I know that my strengths are loving people and being loyal to them no matter what, I know that I am loved by the King and I’m a child of God forever. I know that I’m striving towards what God wants me to do in life, to live my life for Him and spread His love to everyone. I don’t know how effective I am currently in that but I know that I’m working at it and that is what I strive for in life and God knows that, because of that and because that’s what I long for I believe that God can look at me and say that He is pleased. Obviously I could be doing more and I will continue to work for this and strive for this but I’m on my way to doing what He wants which means He is pleased. I am good enough. God died for me is how much He loves me and He thinks I’m worth that. So it’s time for me to step up, stop feeling weak and not good enough because I’m more than that, I’m worth God’s love and if I’m good enough for Him, I should most definitely be good enough for myself.
When I’m feeling down like this, I always keep my feelings mostly to myself, trying to hide how I really feel and never let most people know I’m feeling weak. I’m not entirely sure why I do this, partially because I’ve seen how my mom is when she’s weak and I don’t want to be like that and partially because I feel like my witness for Christ won’t be as effective if people see my weaknesses and flaws, but that’s not true at all. If people see I’m weak, but see that I still have hope in God, maybe they can be encouraged by the fact that even though I’m sad and discouraged sometimes I still know that God has a plan and I know that in all times God can use my weakness to show His strength. It’s like the old children’s song “Jesus Loves Me” says, yeah, it’s clichéd and over-sang sometimes but it’s true. “They are weak but He is strong, yes, Jesus loves me.” He does, He loves us no matter what and He’s ok with us being weak, He’s there for us, to love us and comfort us in those times and He will show Himself to others through those times.
I have to stop thinking of myself as not good enough because I am. God thinks I’m good enough to die for. And God wouldn’t let me go through these feelings of discouragement if He wasn’t going to strengthen me through it. He doesn’t just let us go through tribulations for no reason, (and no, that doesn’t mean I think He’s the one who gives us trials, He just allows us to go through them sometimes so we can learn and be strengthened through them) He wants to teach us. I can’t keep covering up my feelings, it’s ok for me to be weak sometimes, to show my weakness and to tell people the truth when they ask how I’m doing, maybe God can use these feelings to help others. So from now on when people ask, I’ll try and realize it’s ok to let them know that no, right now I’m not ok, but I will be, because God is good and I have hope in Him.
I am good enough, I am loved, I’m a child of God and He is pleased with me. As it says on the To Write Love On Her Arms website, “You are breathing. You are alive with so much purpose, so full of potential. The future is wide open and full of beautiful things yet to be discovered. We believe in hope, in finding it amongst the chaos of life. We believe in sharing it with each other, and telling stories in our own unique ways.”
I’m going to be ok. And so are any of you that are struggling.
1 Peter 1:7 ~ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” — Benjamin Disraeli
“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” — Malcolm S. Forbes
God our hope
He has overcome
All our failures
And all our fear
~ Hillsong United – Take Heart