What is the friend-zone?

Recently the “friend-zone” has come up in my life several times. Hank Green’s latest video was about it and how to escape it and at dinner last week some people on my dorm floor and I had a discussion about it. So what is it? I’m still not completely clear on the matter because there seemed to be several discrepancies on what I thought about it and what the guys on my floor feel. Urban Dictionary describes it this way, “When either a guy or a girl puts a lot of time and energy into wanting to date someone but ends up getting false hope and the common lines like “It’s complicated” or ” I love you so much as a friend and I do not want to lose that bond” Bottom line you’re just a friend. Usually that might make you feel like a gay confident and you will just suffer more while hanging around with the person you love. Often happens to nice guys who finish last. Ex: John, I’m sorry but I just like you as a friend (Welcome to thee friend-zone.)”
This is sort of how I felt it was as well though the guys on my floor all agree that a girl can never be stuck in the friend-zone. I deeply disagree with their sentiments as I seem to be in a constant state of being in the friend-zone, no matter what guy we’re talking about. Wikipedia has this to say on the friend-zone, “The friend zone is when one person in a platonic relationship wishes to enter into a romantic relationship while the other does not. It is generally considered to be a regrettable situation by the lovelorn person.” I feel as though this is in another, very clear description of the friend-zone. Unfortunately, unlike Hank Green I don’t have any advice on getting out of this zone, since I’m always in it and really have no romantic experiences to draw from in giving advice. In the end, I’m not really sure why I’m writing a post about this topic except that since it kept appearing in my life I decided maybe it was time to address it. I my bottom line of what I think it is, is a bit of all three sources. It’s definitely when one person in a friendship likes the other one romantically but the other either doesn’t feel the same or doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. I do agree that there is a slight difference between being a friend that likes the other friend and actually being in the friend-zone but I suppose I don’t really know what the difference is. I do still disagree that girls can’t be in the friend-zone but I suppose overall I’m still confused on the matter. And this post is probably just really rambly and hard to follow so I apologize for that. But, if any of you have any ideas on what the friend-zone is, and/or advice on how to get out of it, that would be fantastic.

Hank’s Video:

Hope ♥


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About elvishjesusfreak

I'm learning to love and be and grow up and things are hard but God is always so good.

4 responses to “What is the friend-zone?”

  1. funandtech says :

    Hey! So I saw this post earlier, but due to the amount of stuff I’m doing over break, I’ve refrained from commenting… *dramatic voice* until now.

    I feel your thoughts on the ‘friend zone’ are pretty in line with what I have.
    I do feel it is something that exists, but I disagree with my male brethren in saying that I think it is quite possible, but not typical, for a gal to get stuck in abyss of the friend zone. This is because, we all, not just guys, are attracted to others, it just so happens that males tend to be the more aggressive or proactive individual in attempting to form a relationship. So there’s that. In addition, I found the video quite hilarious, from things like, “friend-zone zombie-luster” to the silly “sticking your tongue in their mouth” jokes. Oh, and I laughed at his “I’m nice and I’m nearby” line, cause it reminded me of myself in a small way. As far as advice goes, I can’t be of much help, other than to say that if you are indeed stuck in the friend zone (perhaps I am incorrectly inferring that?) pick a door. Behind one is friendship, the other – :P

    Have a good one,


    • elvishjesusfreak says :

      Thanks for your comment! And yes, I love that video, and the guy who makes those videos is my favorite. He’s so funny. And yes, I am in the friendzone. But what other door is there?

      • Hudson Gay says :

        I’ll have to think about that one. Perhaps what you need is not a door, but a window. Speaking of the friend zone, I just watched The Office, and was happy to see how Andy’s quest worked out. Given that’s TV, but perhaps putting what (or who) you want first will work out via showing things like persistence, loyalty, dedication, etc. I’m not sure if what I’ve written is terribly helpful, but I’ll think about your question, and let you know when I get back tomorrow!

      • elvishjesusfreak says :

        Well thanks for thinking about it! And for the advice. :) And yes! I was overjoyed when that happened! I love Andy and Erin together!!

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