3/2/2012 ~ Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,
I’m lonely, and I miss you but I know you’re out there. I don’t know where or if I know you but I know you’re somewhere. I know God’s writing our love story right now so I shouldn’t be impatient. Also, don’t worry, I’m not one of those girls who will want everything to be a romance novel or a chick flick, I hate both those things and while I am romantic at times I know that the love story God is writing for us is much more beautiful and wonderful than anything human minds could ever come up with so I will be waiting (hopefully patiently) for our wonderful story to start. I can’t wait.
P.S. Please join in on causing shenanigans with me. They’re my favorites. And acting like kids even though we’re adults, I love that. :)

From To My Future Spouse Tumblr
– I promise to never to take you shopping with me at the mall. I’ve seen so many unhappy guys being strung along by their significant other. I can promise that will never be you!

– I want our love to be as perfect as an Ed Sheeran song.
“Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in.
Lie down with me, hold me in your arms.
Your heart’s against my chest, lips pressed to my neck.
I’ve fallen for your eyes but they don’t know me yet.
And the feeling I forget I’m in love now.”

– I’m starting to believe that you don’t exist…or that I’m not special enough for you to grow up and get serious to start looking for me.

– I don’t like the term “falling in love”. When you fall, its a mistake and you always get back up. I want to grow in love with you instead. Learning to love you through the good and bad times. I don’t want our love to be a mistake

– There are two types of waiting: Nervous, emotionally draining discontent AND peaceful, grateful rest. I prefer the latter. To see the waiting as a gift. Like wine, tasting better with time.

– I should have known it was too good to be true. These things usually are. Can you change that?

– I’ve never fought so hard to be with anyone in my life. I’ve fought against other people, the past, against the enemy’s attacks and against my own insecurities. But the whole time I’ve fought with the knowledge and the hope that you and I will be together. That I will be looking into your eyes when we’re old and wrinkly and know that this was the right choice. One that glorifies God. One that brings joy to us every day.
The pain that I’ve suffered to be with you disappears when I’m in your arms.

– I have this image in my head of the guy I want to marry. But I know that God has someone that is going to be ten times greater than all the expectations I’ve ever had. I can’t wait for you to be the guy I can do anything with. Go rock climbing, go on a hike, take you home to the family and play cards, go out for a walk, or just sit and watch some T.V.
I love you and I’m praying for you.

– I threw away my list. I’ve realized love isn’t two perfect people starting a perfect life. It is two people willing to grow and change together. You don’t need to have it all together to be accepted by Jesus. Likewise you don’t have to have it all together to be totally accepted by me. But I am looking for someone with a soft heart. That is teachable, that is open to being led by the Holy Spirit. That is where dreams are made. Not in a list of sterile selfish expectations. Not hard hearts that need to control the outcome. Soft hearts that are listening to each other. Pricking our ear towards wisdom.
The thing is I know if I keep my heart under the dealings of God, the outcome will be far better then if I force my dirty finger prints of manipulation. I surrender, I yield, so I am able receive this exciting adventurous life.
Most of the the things I want are good. Don’t get wrong, God hears me. I will make suggestions. But why settle for what I expect? I am looking forward to Gods surprises! I am creative, but he is the creator.
You don’t have to like the music I like or enjoy my favorite movies. You don’t have to know what to say or what to do at the right times. You just have to be the authentic you. Even if it takes a while to feel comfortable enough to relax. Speak up I’m listening.
But keep your heart moldable. For instead of one soul, God now has two souls/lives he can shape to fit perfectly together. Perfectly in his plan. The perfect fit, custom made. Not prefabricated.

– I hope you like to smile, and I hope you like to be impulsive.
And I really hope you know the difference between there, their, and they’re.

– We’re both under the same amazing galaxy, stars illuminating the sky above us. Although we haven’t met yet, perhaps one day we’ll be hand in hand, admiring God’s creation together and gently singing worship songs in awe.

-My heart aches right now. Aches because of all the mistakes I’ve made. Aches because of all the hurt and loneliness that is overwhelming me right now. Aches because I’ve almost given up that you exist and could ever love a person like me. Despite that, and as much as I need you here right now, I realize that I need this time to work on finding myself and strengthening my relationship with God. In the meantime, please wait and pray for me. For the day that you do find me, I pray that you are able to help me move past all my worries and let go. I pray that you love me for exactly who I am.


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About elvishjesusfreak

I'm learning to love and be and grow up and things are hard but God is always so good.

2 responses to “3/2/2012 ~ Dear Future Husband”

  1. Hudson Gay says :

    Can I join in on causing shenanigans? They sound like an enthralling time! Looking forward to hanging out this weekend.

    – Your favorite Robot.

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