I Hope You All Had a Better Christmas Than My Family Did

I wonder if I’ll ever have a holiday where I’m happy. Where I don’t feel like crying and where my whole family isn’t mad at each other. I wonder every holiday what it would be like to have a family that loved me, or acted like a family or was happy for even an hour. I wonder what it’s like to not have a mom who blames you and your sister and your dad for everything that goes wrong in her life and I wonder what it’s like to have a mom who doesn’t storm out, crying and slamming the door behind her. I dream of someday knowing what that’s like, of someday feeling the Christmas spirit that all the books and the movies and the songs talk about, of feeling loved and happy.
Dad, you apologize for how mom is but you’re the only one who could do anything about it. You and mom always say the man should be the head of the household but you let mom drag you around and you agree with whatever she says to her face then later come to us and say sorry for her actions. If you were really sorry you’d stop it, or at least try. Saying sorry doesn’t fix anything, it’s the actions that do. For once in your life stand up for someone, anyone, me, Noelle, yourself, don’t let mom and her psychotic ways keep dragging our family around making us miserable 24/7. I know it sucks for you just as much if not more as it does for me and my sister but you’re honestly the only one who could stop it. And you’re also the only one who made a choice to belong to this family. On my Facebook I keep seeing people complaining about what they did or didn’t get for Christmas, I don’t care that no one asks me what I want and that I get things I can’t use, I really don’t. I just want to be happy on a holiday. For once. Why is that so much to ask? It’s not about the presents anyways. It’s about Jesus, He’s the whole reason for the season and we couldn’t even focus on that. We tried to read the Christmas story from Luke and mom said it was too late, that it wasn’t the right time and how could we be so ridiculous to want to read it now. Well don’t you all think that’s a bit backward? Presents instead of reading the Christmas story? The Christmas story is the only thing that matters. There wouldn’t be a Christmas without Jesus but more importantly there wouldn’t be any life living. Who cares about the presents and the lights and the Christmas music? I mean yeah, those things are great but there nothing with Christ. So please, why can’t we just focus on Him and at least act like we like each other. For once. Please, before you break mine and more importantly my sister’s hearts. You’re destroying us. This year at school I’ve learned to be strong and because of my friends back at school and because of my relationship with Christ and because of fantasy worlds like Doctor Who and even because I have this blog I can stay strong and survive this but my sister has to stay here year round with you all by herself and I don’t know if she can take it. She’s strong but even the strongest would crumble here.
Please, just be nice.


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About elvishjesusfreak

I'm learning to love and be and grow up and things are hard but God is always so good.

4 responses to “I Hope You All Had a Better Christmas Than My Family Did”

  1. Hudson says :

    Hey Hope,

    First off, I’d like to apologize for not commenting on your blog recently. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I dismissed some posts as the stereotypical christmas stuff everyone seems to be posting (a la Facebook), so sorry for that as well.

    Secondly, I hope things improve for you on break, and hope you can espouse your thoughts to your family in person, as well as you write on your blog here.
    I can’t claim to know the chaotic nature that is the holidays for you, and I hope you pull through ok. Perhaps, in the future, you can have happy holidays with a family of your own? I applaud your efforts to maintain some sense of the spirit of Christmas, and furthermore, spending quality time with your family. I can’t claim to be perfect, I am fairly hypocritcal in celebrating these holidays as an agnostic, though I choose to interpret it more in the context of seeing relatives and goodwill and whatnot, leaving the religious aspects to those it is important to. I say this not to mock you or belittle your attempts to solve your problems, but to provide some context in my life. Have you voiced your concerns to your dad, or are you just hoping he’ll figure it out? (I’m serious, not trying to belittle).
    I guess, if you can’t celebrate or enjoy the holiday the way you wish, you could always do it covertly, and assimilate when your mother is acting the way she does, though I guess, from your example about your father, that doesn’t work too well. Another possibility could be blatant rebellion, but that would sort of go against the spirit you’re trying to build, and could end up making things worse.
    I guess I can’t offer a ton of advice, from what I know of your situation, other than to tell you to hang in there. If it comes down to it, you could always stay up late and read in secret. :O

    Sorry for the long reply, but I really hope you can power through the holidays, with at least the hope of a better tomorrow. Let me know if I can do anything for you, and have a Merry (post) Christmas and New Year!

    Here’s to happier holidays,

    – Hudson

    • elvishjesusfreak says :

      Thanks so much for your comment! And that’s alright, I feel like my recent posts might have been fairly stereotypical. :) I hope they improve too though I’m really not counting on it unfortunately, I do need to bring this up to my dad though I’m just currently trying to build up the courage. I will say something before returning to K-State though. And I definitely so stay up late and read and watch stuff on my computer in secret after I go “to bed” it helps some. :)
      Thanks for the reply and for caring Hudson! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well! :)

  2. slytherpuffclawkim says :

    I don’t know if it is technically appropriate to ‘like’ a post about someone having a difficult Christmas, but I just did. Consider it my virtual hug of support.
    I wish I could come up with some lovely words or advice, but I’m feeling rather unoriginal right now (have been for several days or I would’ve posted sooner) and you’ve all ready brought up all the good Bible quotes I know. So instead, I shall just use John Green and say:
    Best wishes for a better 2012.

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