It’s That Time Again
Well, it’s that time. The time for me to go home, it’s Christmas break which means I’m gonna be home for a whole month. As you all know that’s not my favorite thing and I dread it quite a lot in fact. This time is a little different, I’m still really dreading going home but after a really long, tearful, meaningful heart to heart with some of the people on my floor tonight (and by tonight I mean well into the morning as well) I’ve just been so encouraged. They encourage me with their love, and their love of God and just helping me realize that no matter what I’m gonna face at home this month, God is bigger than any of that. Yeah it sucks and the devil is so obviously at work right now and so prevalent in situations in my life but God is even more prevalent and He has a plan and with Him I have a future and a hope and that’s just so encouraging. I always pray about being strong and not letting my parents get to me (especially my mom) when they go off for hours about how terrible I am but until tonight I hadn’t really given much thought to how, even though my mom doesn’t seem to love me and care about me, I need to care about and love her. That’s what we’re called to do, I hadn’t given any thought to the fact that my mom’s life sucks right now too. She has a nerve disease that causes her to be bedridden (Correction, I have often thought about how much that sucks, it just hit me in a different way tonight) and I think that’s part of where her depression and angry and whatever it is she has against me stems from, it’s gonna be super hard but I just need to remember that when she’s telling me all this stuff, remember that she’s going through crap too and no matter what God loves me and He put me in this situation for a reason. I have no freaking idea what that reason is, but I’m a child of God, He made me in His image, He thinks I’m beautiful and I’m called to be a warrior for Him. We’re in a battle right now, it’s so clear. Like obviously Satan is just throwing his power everywhere, everywhere I look I can see the Devil’s work and all his crap and ridiculous stuff he’s throwing into my life and the lives of my friends and I hate it and it makes me so angry to see how he’s hurting people but God is bigger than He’ll ever be, and He’s more powerful and love will always win out over evil and hate and pain and suffering and God will always take care of His children and He just loves us so no matter how bad this earthly crap is, the awesomeness we’ll get to experience when we get to be with God will be worth all this suffering. God is awesome and we need to just remember that and keep fighting, when we get discouraged and down and depressed that’s Satan’s way of getting us away from God and making us focus on ourselves instead of God’s plan for us and for our battle. This is a war, that yeah, God’s gonna win in the end but we need to keep fighting for our lives and the lives of others in the meantime. This war isn’t done and this crap the Devil is throwing at us is just a war tactic to throw us off his destruction.
So yeah, this might sound kinda rambly since I’m writing it at almost 4 in the morning but God is just so awesome and He’s given me the most encouraging family of friends ever. My friends (Who I am considering to be my family because that’s how I feel about them) are always there for me to encourage me and just pray for me and my friends that they don’t even know and it’s just awesome how much I can see God through all of them.
I love Jesus and I just want you all to know that. First and foremost comes my Jesus. Always.