Vampires Do Not (Or shouldn’t) Sparkle
This post might cause some controversy right now I’m sure since Twilight has been super popular the past few years and with the latest movie coming out a few weeks ago, the “Twi-hards” have been fangirling all over the place. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that kids are reading books and enjoying them is great to me, more people should experience the joy of reading, however, when they are reading books that are badly written about a girl who falls in love with a vampire who basically wants to kill her, there’s something wrong here.
Let’s start off thinking about the story here first, (and yes, I read all 4 books just so I could make an educated opinion against them thank you) the story is about a pretty boring, plain-looking, high school girl named Bella Swan. Not too bad of a start I suppose, this is how lots of teen books go, not my favorite but not terrible I guess. In the beginning of the first book, Bella moves to Forks, Washington to live with her dad, as pointed out in the YouTube video series “Alex Reads Twilight” by Alex Day, there is never a clear reason for her to be moving, only that she doesn’t want to but has to for her mom. So she moves to dreary Forks where she almost immediately falls for a guy named Edward Cullen, a mysterious, pale, “bronze haired” guy in her high school. Therein lies problem number one, she falls for Edward and becomes completely obsessed without before she even really talks to him. When he doesn’t show up to school one day, her angst is through the roof and she gets depressed. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY! Sure, guys have the power to make girls all angsty and feel a bunch of different stuff but normally when that happens we know the guys! And even that can’t be healthy! Eventually of course they do start talking and a mutual attraction between the two starts to occur however Bella starts to notice that something might be slightly off about this Edward fellow. Hearing several rumors from different people and her friend Jacob, she starts to realize that Edward and his family might be vampires. To confirm her suspicions, she Googles vampire (Wow, that’s a way to find reliable information) and then confronts Edward about it. He sort of admits that he is and basically from there on she does the stupid thing and spends more time with him until they fall in love and eventually get married. (Sorry if I gave away the plot there, because it’s so complicated and such a surprise. *Sarcastic voice*) Before I get into just how actual terrible the writing itself is, I would like to address just a few more things here.
1. Bella Swan is the most annoying character I’ve ever come across. She complains about everything and nothing seems to make her happy (Well, except of course being with Edward). She is constantly talking in the books about how she hates everything, she hates Forks, she hates school, she hates snow. The list goes ever on and on. 2. Edward is a vampire, Bella is a human. Therefore, Edward wants to kill her. This is not a healthy relationship people. 3. In one of the books, Edward leaves Bella for her own safety, when this occurs, she gets depressed for basically an entire book and tries to kill herself. What kind of message is this sending? That all we need is a boy to keep us happy? That if a boy leaves us, even when he’s doing it to save our lives we should just not care about anything and give up? Wrong answer. Let’s think about some other notable fictional women shall we? Hermione Granger, Ron left her and Harry on their hunt for Horcruxes, not even for a good reason and what did she do? She kept going. She helped save the world while her boy was gone. Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, one of the strongest women characters I’ve ever seen in a book, she didn’t give up when Faramir was sick and going to leave her, she killed the Witch-King of Angmar. She in one scene became one of the most BA women in all of fictional history! 4. Breaking Dawn. Oh dear gosh that book… so many things wrong with it.. I can’t even go there. The wedding night scene for one, the terrifying demon/vampire baby, Jacob falling in love with such baby. “Hey daughter, the boy who loves me loved me first you know.” Cause that’s not weird or anything…
Alex (reading): I could kill you quite easily, Bella. Simply by accident. I could reach out meaning to touch your face and crush your skull by mistake (laughs)
Charlie: If that isn’t a warning sign to leave this relationship, I don’t know what that is.
“And so you think that was a massive anticlimax UNTIL… “Edward stayed in front of me, tensed like a lion…”
Yes, because that’s the thing about lions… they’re always so tense.” ~ Alex Day
“Stephanie Meyer+Science=Wrong” ~ Alex Day
Ok, now onto the quality of the writing (I’ll try to keep this a bit more brief since my post is already horrendously long!). There is at least one blog entirely dedicated to the writing mistakes of Stephenie Meyer from the Twilight books and Alex Day mentioned several in his videos. It’s just not good. Stephenie Meyer while she might be good at many things and I in no way want to say something bad about a person herself, cannot write well. I’m sorry it’s just the truth. I’ve heard the excuse that the books are easy, fun reads. That might be the case but it’s because they’re written so badly! Like I said, I don’t want to make this post unbearably long so I might just leave it up to this wonderful blog (http://reasoningwithvampires.tumblr.com/)to cover Meyer’s mistakes but think about it, these are not well written, I’m sorry.
In conclusion, (wow, when did I start sounding like I’m writing an essay here?) I think Stephen King summer is up quite nicely when he said, “Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.” While I don’t understand the craze, or think it’s necessarily good, I do realize that many people including a good amount of my friends think Twilight is amazing and I’m not trying to mock people’s interests (I certainly have enough fangirl-ish obsessions that I hardly think that would be fair) I just want people to see that maybe these aren’t as good as they think.