Why can’t I get out of this angsty feeling? This past week was good, getting so close to God was awesome and it’s not like I’ve strayed away from that closeness, I just got angsty again tonight and I can’t stop it. I was trying so hard not to be angsty on my blog but I don’t have anywhere else to be angsty. I don’t want to bother my friends with my angst, and my friends who read my blog should probably expect it to get that way sometimes so I don’t feel bad about that but I feel annoying when I’m angsty. Part of it is the fact that it’s been five years today since I’ve seen my best friends because 5 years ago tomorrow is when I moved from Georgia and that’s hard of course but this stupidness of being all girly and angsty and just wanting someone to love. I’m trying to be patient, I really am. I just have stupid crushes on people I have no chance with. They’re too good for me, too nice, too amazing. They’ll never see me this way. Why can’t I just turn off my emotions until someone likes me back? Or just only fall for the person I’m gonna be with. Why do I have to go through all this waiting and angst and being all impatient when I should just be focusing on God? It’s so frustrating. And I feel bad liking people who don’t like me back because I know how it feels on occasion to have someone like me that I just don’t see like that, it makes me feel bad so I hate it. Sigh. I need to stop reading sappy posts on Tumblr too… Though I got angsty tonight before I saw sappy posts on Tumblr.
God, just please help me be patient and not so angsty!