I’m afraid to fall in love again.
Many of you suffered through my ramblings of my heart break last winter. That was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, enough so that as much as I hate to admit it, it made me more than a little bit fearful to fall in love again. The past few weeks I’ve kinda been feeling something for one of my guy friends as much as I’m trying to deny it. I mean, we’re good friends, and not only do I not want to go through the pain of ANOTHER broken heart (If we could skip on any of those for the rest of my life that would be swell!) but I also don’t want to lose another good friend. Now in this particular case, I’m sure this won’t matter because I’m quite sure he’ll never feel the same about me but it just makes me think of the future. I’m so scared that I’ll fall for someone else and they’ll say they like me too but they end up breaking my heart all over again. People who’ve never had a broken heart don’t realize that the term broken heart is an understatement. It’s more like having your heart ripped out, stepped on, stabbed and tossed out and then parts of it put back in your body. It’s literally the worst thing ever… And it makes me scared. About several things. I’m scared to fall in love again and be hurt again, but I’m scared if I don’t listen to my feelings that I’ll miss something awesome… I just wish I knew right now who I was going to end up with.