I’ll never be good enough for you.

I get it, I understand. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you. I try my hardest but you don’t care, you want me to do better. I know that, but why? I try my best at everything, I really am truly sorry it’s not enough for you. I’m honestly quite tired of trying. You tell me to work my hardest. I got all A’s and B’s my first semester of college. Yet all you say is thats not good enough. You keep telling me that you’re the only reason I got into college, that’s a lie. You tried to make me write different things for those papers for scholarships, but the ones you helped me with are the ones I didn’t get. Stop trying to rule my life I’m 19, I love you, mom but I’m not a little girl anymore. And I don’t even think you love me even though you always say it, I think the telling me I’m a huge disappointment cancels that out. You tell me I’ll never be good enough to get in the FBI. I’m going to get in just to prove you wrong. You tell me I’m not a Christian and I’m a hateful person. I love God with all of my heart and try to always obey Him, I don’t hate anyone. You’re the one who is always complaining about our family and how you don’t like them. I know our family’s screwed up, trust me, I know. Complaining about it to us isn’t going to help at all. I really do love you but you’re slowly destroying us. You tell me I’m breaking your heart because I’m such a terrible child. I’ve always tried to obey what you said.

I just want to be loved for who I am. I know I’m love by my friends, but it would nice for my family to love me some too. I’ve already lost all faith in romantic love, I wish I could count on your love.


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About elvishjesusfreak

I'm learning to love and be and grow up and things are hard but God is always so good.

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